Simulation may induce reality.
And very often the simulation of this interest induces the reality, and our own life is brightened by participating in the pleasures and the happiness of others, and deepened by sharing in their disappointments, and by doing so helping them to overcome them. With a cold, forbidding manner it is impossible to convey any such impression.
Shyness.
But this often comes from shyness, not only in the young, but all through life. The youthful form of shyness is self-consciousness and self-distrust. That which lasts through life is the fear of self-revelation.
And reticence.
Even the frankest natures have often this quality of reticence, which forbids them to reveal the inner depths of their thoughts, and makes them hate to be divined.
Rochefoucauld says we all hate to be divined, though we like to divine others; but many of us know well what a delightful thing it is to be read like an open book by those whose thoughts reflect our own, and with whom we discover ourselves to be in mental kinship.
The ideal life—few friends, many acquaintances.
The ideal life is that which has few friends but many acquaintances. The friends are close and firm ones, “grappled to our hearts with hooks of steel,” and the circle of acquaintances offers opportunities for adding to their number. But without an agreeable manner it is difficult to secure these inner and outer spheres of social companionship.
A recipe for the formation of a good manner.