Manners for Men

by Mrs. Humphry

The wooden stare.

This is useful for wearing at one’s club or in the stall of a theatre, and it at once stamps the proprietor of the stare as being “in it.” The fashion is not confined to England. It reigns in New York, and even in far Australia there is a select coterie of golden or gilded youth who are beginning to learn how to abstract every atom of expression from the countenance, and to look on vacantly or seem to do so. As yet, there is no considerable expertness achieved in the matter in Antipodean circles, but in New York a very fair impression of imbecility is conveyed in the look of the ultra-fashionable young man. There are various other important matters on which a transatlantic authority has been instructing the youth of his generation. The one involving the most serious responsibility is connected with carrying a cane or stick, as it is better form to call it.

Transatlantic etiquette.

It must be left at home when going to business, to church, or to make calls. The idea of the latter prohibition is that, if a call is made on a lady cane in hand, the inference would be that the caller is on sufficiently intimate terms to look in on her casually at any time. There is certainly subtlety in this view. It is well that the novice should be made aware that the lowest depth of vulgarity is touched by carrying an umbrella in a case. It is also an important item of information that the gloves and cane must be carried in the same hand. To do otherwise is seriously to err in social forms. Our instructor declares that to attend oratorios and philharmonic concerts is thoroughly bad form, indicating a tendency to be pedantic. It is much better to go to a horse show. It is by no means considered correct to shake hands. The proper way is to take hold of the fingers of one’s acquaintance at the second joints, and bestow upon them one or two decisive little jerks, as though testing their strength. “No, I thank you,” is a form of words no longer heard in good society, having some time since been replaced by “No, thanks.” No man with any claim to social position would consent to pronounce the “g” at the end of the present participle of verbs. “Comin’ and goin’” are the correct forms just now. “Don’t you know” is ridiculously correct. Men of perception do not care to be more accurate than others of their set. “Don’t-chi-know” is more customary, and the pronunciation marks the man as riding on the topmost crest of the social wave. There must be a staccato sound about the phrase, which alternates pleasantly with the languid drawl. The latter is still in favour, and accompanies admirably the studied lack of animation in the expression and general wooden look of the face.

To revert for a moment to the cane, or walking-stick.

The stick.

There is much to be deduced from the manner in which it is carried. The correct style is to hold it at an angle of forty-five degrees, with the ferule uppermost and forward. This is the sort of thing that no man could possibly discover for himself. The natural man would incline to carry his stick in such fashion as would tend to direct its point to the ground. This unsophisticated mode would at once reveal him as uninitiated in the minor morals of good manners. The latest mode of arranging the male hair, as practised in New York, and possibly nearer home as well, is worth noting.

The hair.

First it is made thoroughly wet, then brushed and parted, after which the head is swathed with linen bands, which are kept on until the hair is thoroughly dry. This method produces the plastered appearance which is now recognised as good form. Though cordiality of manner is rapidly becoming obsolete, and is utterly condemned by all who have studied the subject, yet it is a recognised fact that amiability has now superseded sarcasm, and the up-to-date young man practises a careless superficial benevolence of pronouncing every woman charming and every man a good fellow.

Amiability.