"Engaged in my duty to my parents, and considering from day to day, that young as I was, my mother had no protector but myself, I refused to accept of her proposal of going to the free-school at Durham. She was vexed by my resistance; and in the fulness of my heart, I mentioned my difficulty to Captain Flint. He had been very useful to me, from the first of my intimacy with Henry Heartley, whom he educated: but from this time, he wrote to my mother, and undertook my defence, engaging to be my preceptor. If I have not profited by his talents, it is my own fault; but I have gained from him one lesson, and that will carry me through life I trust, without disgracing my Maker, or my best friend on earth.
"My brother's recall from Edinburgh was, in the course of events, the next occurrence of importance to me. This summons was in consequence of Mr. Oliver Flint's earnest wish to see his young brother. Death had bereaved him of his two last surviving children, boys, nearly of Philip's age; and to this invitation to my brother, were added promises of receiving him as his heir. Mr. Flamall's opinion had weight with my mother, for it included his resolution of going with his nephew to Jamaica, the better to understand, and to secure to him the advantages held out. Miss Flint calculated her brother Oliver's age and fortune, and recalled to her memory the extensive and beautiful plantation on which she had first seen the light. Avarice combated with fondness; and she yielded, trusting to Mr. Flamall's care, and the declining state of health of this poor afflicted father, for her idol's return to England. Philip arrived at Tarefield from the university; I had not seen him for a year and a half; and I was struck by the improvement of his person. 'He was always handsome,' added Malcolm smiling; 'but the Adonis had given place to more masculine comeliness; and his deportment was become serious, and rather reserved. We had mutually attained to those years which precluded rudeness, and I was treated as a gentleman, and I hope I shewed him that I was one; yet I saw Philip's advances to more familiarity like 'a stubborn dog,' for my heart receded from his civilities.
"One morning I met my brother in the avenue, in my way from the Abbey. He appeared to be lost in thought, and I fancied he was weeping. On perceiving me, he assumed a gay air, and asked me where I had been rambling. 'I have been no where,' answered I, 'but with my friends at Wilson's.'—'Am I never, Malcolm,' said he with emotion, 'to have the comfort of finding my name in that list? Shall I never hear the voice of affection from a brother whom I love, and who is only unjust to me? Let me at least,' added he, offering me his hand, 'have this consolation before I leave England. I need it!' I did not refuse it, Madam, but my heart smote me; for I received his offered love ungraciously. 'I see,' said he, his fine face glowing, and his voice trembling, 'that I have no brother! Malcolm Maclairn is lost to me!' He turned away abruptly, whilst conscience-struck, I cursed those whose folly and injustice had rendered me callous to the pleadings of nature. I was ashamed of my conduct; and lest I should afflict my mother, forbore to mention this incident. From that hour I shunned Philip's eyes; for I felt his superiority of temper a reproach; and his increasing sadness became an intolerable weight on my spirits. Miss Flint's dejection at this time appeared to have changed her nature; my mother's firmness seemed to have the direction of her will; and her fondness for 'Harriot' rose in proportion as the hour approached, when she was to lose sight of her Philip. On the morning of Philip's departure, I and my mother breakfasted with him, at a very early hour, in Miss Flint's apartment. Mr. Flamall vainly tried to render the repast cheerful. The servant announced that all was in readiness. Philip rose with extreme agitation. 'One embrace,' said he, 'extending his arms and turning towards me, 'one embrace, Malcolm! It may be a brother's last request! Let me depart with the hope that if we do meet again, affection will welcome me!' I was subdued! penetrated to the very soul! I burst into tears, and convulsed by my feelings, could only say, 'My brother! and my friend!' He pressed me to his bosom with energy. 'We are united!' cried I; 'no distance or time shall separate us! on earth or in heaven we will be brothers!' Mr. Flamall remarked, that I had ill chosen my time for pathetics, and gravely reminded Philip to behave like a man; but his lessons were useless; for our attention was now called to Miss Flint, who was in hysterics, and my weeping but collected mother urged her son to depart. I have somehow or other slid into a narrative, and I may as well finish my story," continued Malcolm. "I found that Philip had left me his fine hunter for a 'keep-sake,' according to his groom's report. George, for obvious reasons, delivered his commission before Miss Flint, adding, that his master had refused an hundred guineas from Squire Forster; because he thought I should like to ride a horse of his. ''Tis like my noble boy!' exclaimed Miss Flint. She paused, and after a struggle with her feelings, said with some bitterness, 'time must shew, how this brother's gift is received.' My heart prompted the reply; but my mother was present. Freed from Mr. Flamall's influence, and determined not to invade on the tranquillity which succeeded his absence, I settled into reserve and civility with Miss Lucretia Flint; and perhaps her dislike of me might have settled into mere indifference; but my sin was ever before her; for I persisted in loving my friends at the Abbey: and in due time she was informed, 'that I courted Miss Heartley.' My mother, who well knew my attachment to Alice, behaved with firmness on this occasion, as she had always done in my behalf. She instantly gave her sister, as she calls her tormentor, to understand, that a son who had devoted his whole life to his duty as a child, and who was perfectly competent to judge of his own situation in the world, should meet with no controul, beyond that which his own prudence and regard to his parents enforced." "So," added Malcolm, smiling, "I still go a courting, in spite of Miss Lucretia. But this late disturbance had roused my angry passions; and I was serious with my mother. Last night I told her with frankness, that I would carry a musket for my bread, rather than live in an abode in which my father's peace was interrupted, and in which she was a passive slave.—'And what was her answer?' asked I. Tears, replied he, tears, which when I behold, unman me, and which I reproach myself for having caused. She says, Miss Flint upbraids herself more than I can do; that she is miserable; and sums up all, by imploring me to have patience, and to spare her on the only subject in which she must contradict and oppose me. 'You will, I trust,' added she, 'soon have a home of your own: so do I fervently hope I shall; but when I quit this house, Malcolm, it will be for the shelter of my grave.' I was so struck by her manner, that I am determined to press her no farther on the subject, if I can help it. In the mean time, I sometimes think, that my dear mother is secretly governed in this abject submission, from her wish to promote my union with Alice: it may be, Miss Flint has promised her to advance a sum of money for my establishment. Yet, my dear Miss Cowley, never did there exist a more noble and disinterested woman, than Lady Maclairn! and she well knows that both Miss Heartley and myself would reject Miss Flint's favours with scorn. We have comforts which she cannot invade, nor could we relish any which she could purchase for us. We see each other without restraint, and by a reciprocal confidence, and solid affection, we mutually soften the delay, which prudence exacts, of a union in which we shall be more completely happy."
Malcolm had touched a chord in my bosom. "You are to be envied," said I with eagerness. "How many are there, with your honour and fidelity, who have not your consolations! Alice is a happy creature to some I could name." He pressed my arm to his breast. "Neither Miss Heartley, nor her Malcolm deserves to be happy," said he, "if they could be so, knowing you otherwise." I blushed: "I know your difficulties," added he, "if I be condemned for hating with a perfect hatred, I must look to you for my excuses. But I have omitted to tell you, that I wrote to Philip before he embarked; and received from him a kind letter. To one I wrote him after his arrival in Jamaica, I have had no answer. Mr. Flamall is at the bottom of this mischief; and trusting to this conjecture, I wrote again to my brother, and by this means gave Mr. Flamall a full evidence of being still incorrigible in respect to my duty as his nephew. But, my dear Miss Cowley, the reign of a Flamall is short; we shall see him in a very different point of view, before he quits the stage, or I am much deceived."—"And I shall be much disappointed," said I with emotion; "and what is more, Mr. Maclairn, it shall not be my fault if he does not repent." The girls now perceiving us, advanced to meet us; and Malcolm forgot his dear uncle.
What will you say of a mother so beloved, and so extolled as Lady Maclairn? She is still an enigma to me. I am convinced that Miss Flint can have no influence, but what is supported by fear: and wherefore should Lady Maclairn fear her? That is the question. It is now that Lucy Hardcastle is tenderly beloved without fear, by her.
Rachel Cowley.
CHAP II.
LETTER XIV.