In a way I wondered where the young man was who had for seven years played so big a part in my life. So full of bitter memories was I that I was thankful to learn that he had gone to Wales. I was glad I did not see him. What would be the use? I shuddered at the thought. I was neither a wife nor a maid; I was nothing. It was a hard fate; yet I loved my own husband. He was so far from me and was lost for ever.
My visit to Slamannan was almost too much for me. I found many kind friends to take me here and there till I was utterly weary. I spent nearly all my time out of doors. As I stood again amongst the wild heather for the time it seemed unreal and dreamlike.
After two weeks had passed I received a telegram, telling me to be in London on a certain date. I knew where the ship was at anchor. So I only stopped one more day in Glasgow and got back by train to London. On board the City of Adelaide there were a good many passengers returning, but I did not in any way have to attend or do any act of waiting, except on the lady and her little boy. I had a nice cabin to myself and every comfort, beside a free passage for my services. The vessel was a few days in the London docks, and I stopped on the ship with the lady. I saw more of London than I had ever thought of seeing, with the captain and his wife. They took me with them, and they were very good to me. We all went to a market one afternoon; and, just think of it, I saw the tops of turnips sold at 4d. a pound. And as to the meat, I will leave that.
I felt by the movement one morning while in bed that once again we were passing through the Thames. How gently those sailing vessels seem to go along if the wind is favorable, but the City of Adelaide began to roll about soon after leaving the river. There were more rough seas in her than when I was in the South Australian. There was no note of calling anywhere en route. The lady was a good sailor and they had a nice piano on board, which the lady played and the captain sang. The captain and his wife practised with firearms on the poop at night. She seemed to enjoy it; they asked me if I would like to use the gun and try, so that if a mutiny should rise amongst the seamen there would be us three with pistols. I would not, and I could not. Thanks be to goodness they were never wanted. I did not know what to think at the time, but afterwards I thought that they were merely joking with me and never thought any mutiny would rise. All went on so evenly with nothing but the glittering sea about that I loved so well.
I had no time to write much. The little boy's name was Roland, and he and I were great friends. We went all over the ship, and knew all the sails by name. To hear Roland calling out to the men to "let go" this or that made everyone laugh. There was a family returning to Adelaide, and one of their sons died when about half-way through the voyage. It was very sorrowful, for it came so suddenly. I knew the people. There was a medical man on board, which made us feel grateful. So the days slipped by. The captain said we were rounding Cape Horn, and anyway the ship got into a regular shoal of whales. It was awful, for wherever you looked you would see those horrid monsters. It was a nice calm morning, and I had Roland in my arms. He was in high glee, and started to make a hissing noise like them as they sent up jets of water, and the ship shook. When the captain got his gun and began shooting at them we were afraid of what they might do after being shot at. So much of them was under the water that the shots might not have the desired effect of killing them. I never knew if any were killed or not, but how thankful I felt when they left off firing. The nearness of the whales dazed us. Everyone said it was out of the common to see so many. There was only the sky above and the waters around, while we were in what was like an island of whales. There was a sense of gratitude when I felt the ship glide gently away and leave those animals behind in a cluster. Roland kept the memory up all through the homeward journey. He never tired of showing what the whales did. The ship did not call in anywhere all the voyage, but from the birds we saw there must have been land near at the time.
The young doctor's name was Clark. He was coming to Adelaide to practice. Someone told him I had been in South Australia, and he got chatting with me about the health of the people and the effect of the climate. I told him I had been in South Australia for ten years, and that it had cost me nothing for medicine in all that time, and that I had never to consult a doctor. He said he hoped that there were not many more like me in Adelaide, or he would have to go back. I learnt the name of the place he went to, but I have forgotten it. He shot a large bird and gave the skin to me. I had it made into a muff, and it is as good to-day as it was at first.
All the talk was concerning the time when the ship would be in port. Needless to say I had nothing hopeful to remember, and I knew there would be little pleasure to have, as all had changed. Life had now no allurements for me, and the outside world no temptations. I could not help these feelings as the City of Adelaide was towed into Port Adelaide.
I REACH ADELAIDE AGAIN.
It was night, and I thought I would stop on board all night, but the friends who gave me the letters to Manchester came on the ship to see me and had my luggage taken to their place. I was glad, as Mrs. Alstone was going to some friends. I sent word to my people where they would find me in the morning. My few relatives were by my side when I awoke in the morning, and seeing how happy they were I forgot my own sorrow. I knew that life had once more its depths that not even the nearest could sound. It would not bear thinking about. It was only to be borne. I felt I must work, although I did not think I would begin that day, but I did. Before I got out of the train at the Adelaide station the gentleman who had the management of the club at the port where I lived up to the time I went as stewardess came to me and said he was in trouble for the want of someone to help at a banquet at the Semaphore. He had been to Adelaide and could not find any skilful help. Would I come back with him, he said; and I did; and let my friends take care of my belongings. I had really done no work of that kind all the time I was away, and after three months on the rolling ship it was so strange to find everything firm under my foot. Both this gentleman and his dear wife were friends to me through after years.