1828. About the Medal.
MISS HERSCHEL TO J. F. W. HERSCHEL.
Aug. 21, 1828.
My dear Nephew,—
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What you tell me in the short note dated May 24th, which accompanied the three copies of my Index, concerning the medal, has completely put me out of humour with the same; for to say the truth, I felt from the first more shocked than gratified by that singular distinction, for I know too well how dangerous it is for women to draw too much notice on themselves. And the little pleasure I felt at the receipt of the few lines by your hands, was entirely owing to the belief that what was done was both with your approbation and according to your recommendation. Throughout my long-spent life I have not been used or had any desire of having public honours bestowed on me; and now I have but one wish, that I may take your good opinion with me into my grave.
I have no time or inclination to think much on this subject, else I could say a great deal about the clumsy speech of the V. P. Whoever says too much of me says too little of your father! and only can cause me uneasiness.
Mr. South I have seen only twice, or perhaps three times, and that was in yours and your dear father’s presence, and to all conversation between you and Mr. South I could only be a listener, and, seeing you so well agree together I congratulated myself on your having found a friend possessing much knowledge of what passes in common life, of which a young and deep mathematician and philosopher has had no time of laying in a great stock.
I heard you would make a visit to Struve at Dorpat this summer together, and I concluded I should then have had a call on the way home. But on that account I feel now relieved from the painful prospect of a final parting from you once more, though it will cost me many melancholy hours to bring that to paper which I yet wish for you to know. But I am too much destroyed at present to explain myself any further, and will only say that by the Michaelmas messenger I will send every scrap of paper which I have yet kept solely for my amusement and for assisting my memory. You may look them over at some leisure [time] and then destroy them; for I go not one night to bed but thinking it may be the last of my life.... I have a numerous and valuable acquaintance, but I keep all my difficulties to myself, for I was ever careful not to injure a relation, or one with whom I am connected, in the opinion of others, by saying what I think of them.
I must prepare to pay a visit at the villa of a friend of mine where I have twice this summer refused an invitation.