My father persisted, though there was a painful struggle in his affectionate mind; and my mother tried the effect of persuasion with me, but my passionate temper would brook no restraint. At length one of my brothers became alarmed and thought it right to intercede; he mildly opened their eyes to the conviction that my determined character was their own work, and that it was now too late to retrace their steps. He pointed out to them the dislike I had excited in the neighbourhood by my contemptuous and satirical conduct to everybody; and the ill effect that the reaction of that feeling might have in still further hardening my disposition; and he endeavoured to convince them that a husband’s influence was the only chance left of withdrawing me from the follies they lamented. He then urged the family, the education, and the manners of Mr. P., who had every thing but wealth to recommend him; and earnestly implored my father to relent.
He succeeded. Mr. P. was accepted, and settlements were now to be discussed; but scorning all inquiry into the income of one whom I loved only for his merit, I indignantly exclaimed:—
Can gold calm passion, or make reason shine?
Can we dig peace or wisdom from the mine?
We were married—and went home to a sweet little place which Mr. P. had on the banks of Ulleswater.—The estate was small, but had been in his family for ages; the house was a two-story building of olden times with projecting windows; it was situated in a valley which was sheltered from every cold blast, and altogether looked as if it must be a happy home.
“You are mistress of this humble place, Gertrude,” said Mr. P.; “and over my purse you have unbounded power. Your wishes are moderate, and you well know that our expenses must be limited by discretion. This property has been sufficient for my father and my ancestors; I hope you will assist me in preserving it free from debt and incumbrance for my successors. Of few things I have a greater horror than the disgrace of debt. Remember then, dearest Gertrude, that in our present situation economy becomes an essential duty.”
I considered this speech as so very devoid of sentiment, that I did not deign to reply.
In a few weeks, my mother came to visit us; in her own kind manner, she assisted me in my domestic arrangements, with as much anxiety, I thought, as if matter of life or death; and having established me with good servants, and put into my head more ideas than I had ever admitted before on the subject, she left me in a very happy state.
The summer did pass happily. Mr. P. had such a variety of tastes, and so kindly adapted them to mine; we enjoyed so much our studies at home; our mineralogical and botanical rambles; and our sketching and boating parties, that our life glided away in real felicity. As autumn and winter advanced, we spent less time out of doors, and more was given to our visiters, who remarked that now there might be some chance of seeing us comfortably. But the house was never comfortable to visiters. My dinners were ill arranged, and every thing was irregular. An old gentleman, who had been intimate with Mr. P.’s father, and who continued the warm friend and counsellor of the son, used frequently to ride over of a frosty day to dine and sleep; or sometimes called upon us for luncheon after he had been shooting. But he always came at some unfortunate time; when our dinner was shabby, or ordered at some late hour: or perhaps there was no fire to warm him after a cold ride; the unswept hearth strewed with cinders; the room all littered, no one to receive him, and when I did appear, probably my dress untidy, and a frown on my brow. He had long had the habit of speaking his mind, and very mortifying things he sometimes said, which made me hate him.
“Why, madam,” (a beginning which, from him, always shewed displeasure,) “you seem to have a fresh cargo of new books every time I come here. Let me see—Chemistry, Botany, Geology, Italian Tales, and Scotch novels. All admirable food for the mind, to be sure; but we old fashioned folk are vulgar enough to like a little comfortable food for the body, also. Economy turned upside down.”
I had determined to make our little place a paradise. The garden, which was to be brilliant at all seasons, was therefore crammed with flowers, and the most beautiful shrubs were to ornament my new walks; a simple pleasure, thought I, to which no one can object. Every week matted parcels of treasures arrived by the coach, from distant nurseries; and as Mr. P. acquiesced in all my suggestions, we planted and worked together. In thus beautifying our place, we never imagined that we could incur any great expense; besides, when the thing to be done was good, I thought it a proof of a narrow mind to consider the cost. For the same reason, I paid no attention to the weekly accounts of my housekeeper. She understands managing much better than I do, and all those little particulars, of a few pence perhaps, are really beneath my notice.