“Waste nothing.
“Let ORDER preside in every part of your house.
“Remember, that a drawing-room, though elegantly furnished, is disgusting, if untidy.
“It is no excuse for bad dinners and comfortless rooms, that the mistress is engaged in her laboratory mixing gases, and trying experiments that are known to every apothecary’s apprentice. Women, indeed, may store their minds with knowledge, but then their homely duties must not be neglected.
“Let me hear, that when your husband returns home, after a busy morning, he finds a cheerful house, and a smiling wife; or, as sweet Allan Ramsay would say, ‘a blazing ingle, and a clean hearth stane.’”
With heartfelt sorrow I quitted the place where I had spent the happy beginning of my married life. It seemed as if I was leaving every thing that was dear, and that I never could again enjoy the tranquil life Edward and I had led for six years. Next came the parting with my children and my parents! But I will not touch on the painful struggle between different duties; nor will I mention the distress of mind which my dear father and mother suffered, in consequence of my imprudence. I consigned my dear boys, rosy, smiling, little, lively creatures, to my good mother, and she has truly done them justice.
Our passage to Jamaica was most favourable. Mr. P. took possession of the San Pedro plantation, in the name of Mr. Crispin, and we were immediately settled in the dwelling house attached to it. It consisted of one story only, as most of the houses in that country are so built, to preserve them from hurricanes and earthquakes. A viranda extended along the west and south sides, ornamented with oleanders, African roses, grenadillas, passion flowers, and other lovely plants, trained to the pillars. To the north-west lay a flower garden, inclosed by a hedge of the Barbadoes flower-fence. At ten or twelve feet from the ground, the stem of this beautiful and extraordinary plant divides into several spreading branches, armed at each joint with strong crooked spines; and every branch terminates in a loose spike of flowers, which are something like carnations, and which combine the most glowing mixture of red, orange, and green, accompanied by a strong, but agreeable smell. I shall mention only one more feature of this charming spot: the garden was sheltered by a large Pimenta grove; and, as you are acquainted with this beautiful species of myrtle, which produces the allspice, you may imagine how delightful I must have found its fragrance, and its shade, in that sultry climate.
The violent resolutions I had made to abjure my former errors, and to devote myself to my household duties, now led me into the opposite extreme; I entered into every little detail with such indefatigable earnestness, and, ignorant of the manners and customs of the West Indies, I made such an infinite number of teasing regulations, that I completely worried my servants and slaves; and even Mr. P., I do believe, thought this extreme the worst. I became so fussy and so busy, that I thought I had time for nothing else, like the Norwegian ladies, whose whole lives are absorbed in domestic drudgery.
One circumstance, however, greatly annoyed my feelings—the being surrounded by slaves. Though they did not, in general, look unhappy, and though they enjoyed many comforts, yet the whole system excited my indignation. You know I had never learned to control or conceal my sentiments, and I now took every opportunity of expressing them with such silly enthusiasm, and so publicly, that I not only offended all the whites, but injured the poor negroes themselves. My imprudent sympathy not only made them feel their degraded situation the more acutely, but materially helped to inflame that spirit of discontent which, more or less, must always accompany slavery; and I really tremble in reflecting how much I may have been accessary to the events which afterwards happened. Yet you will be astonished, Bertha, when I add, that such was the perverse inconsistency of my character, that while overflowing with compassion for these poor creatures, I was a most arbitrary mistress to those who were among our domestics, and tyrannical over all who were under my influence. I had established an evening school for the slaves when their work was done; I did really pay it unremitting attention, and fancied that I found great pleasure in being useful; but I could not bear to have my benevolent intentions thwarted: those who were negligent in their attendance excited a stronger feeling than displeasure; and I blush in confessing that the task-master found it was his interest to treat those who had displeased me with increased severity.
One of the females who worked in the plantation had a very engaging daughter; she had a good figure, spoke English tolerably, and had a quickness and intelligence which particularly pleased me. I had a great wish to have this girl about my person, and at last obtained her, though against her mother’s will. She lived in the house, and was a most useful and good-natured creature; and the rapidity with which she acquired all the knowledge that I could teach, fully justified the high opinion of her that I had formed.