Nanina left me at early dawn, entreating me not to stir from the negroes’ hut till she returned. Hours passed in the most intense anxiety, and no tidings came. I knew not what the poor negroes said, but I saw they were deeply anxious, listening to every sound, and watching in every direction. They placed food before me, but I could not eat. They brought me a branch of a pimenta tree, which overhung the hut, to revive me by its smell; but it reminded me too strongly of the dwelling at San Pedro, which I had begun to love, and of my dear husband, whom perhaps I should never see again. My thoughts flew from that to my former home on Ulleswater, and then still farther back, to the home of my youth, and to those dear parents whose over-affection for me had been their only fault. Alas! thought I, how will they feel, if——. But this train of bitter reflections was suddenly interrupted by loud yells, which appeared to be rapidly approaching. I was preparing to meet my fate with resignation, when my two poor negro hosts quickly placed me in a corner of the hut, and, covering me over with reeds and palm leaves, made a sign of silence. An immense crowd surrounded the hut, and I heard many loud and angry voices inside; but it was Nanina for whom they asked; she was the object of their pursuit; and full of revengeful eagerness in their inquiries about her, they did not observe the suspicious heap of reeds.
They were not half an hour gone, when poor Nanina arrived, looking quite worn down by fatigue. She had gone to obtain intelligence, and having heard of the insurgents’ visit to the hut, and fearing their return, she came to remove me to a place of greater safety. How or when we arrived there I can scarcely recollect; and what took place afterwards I can still less remember, for I fainted more than once with fright and fatigue. I know that there was fighting close to me—the horrid yells are still in my ears; and I think I can remember clinging to Nanina when she was seized—a loud shout that was given soon afterwards—and then finding myself again in silence; and I well remember that Mr. P. himself came into a cave where I was lying, and took me home.
And what a scene presented itself there! The house partly burnt, the furniture destroyed, the gardens ruined, and every species of devastation committed, for which there had been time or means. My brain, which was already bewildered, now completely gave way. I thought I was the cause, not only of all this destruction, but of the death of Nanina my preserver, though she was then with me. Nothing could calm me; and I continued for a long time delirious.
I have since been told, that when Nanina’s messenger arrived in Spanish Town, there was such a general conviction that the insurrection of the slaves was a false report, that much time was lost; and before the military were detached, the rebel negroes had done incalculable mischief to the San Pedro and some neighbouring plantations. At last the troops arrived, and Mr. P. with them; and after a short skirmish, the negroes threw down their arms, and submitted. The ringleaders were taken; and one of them acknowledged to Mr. P. that they had been a long time secretly trying to excite a spirit of rebellion amongst the slaves; that they agreed not to do any mischief to the San Pedro plantations, because Mr. P. had always been lenient and considerate; but that afterwards they felt so much the harshness of my conduct, which became so different from what it had been at first, that their vengeance was particularly directed to our house.
My mind continued in such a state for many weeks, that Mr. P. determined to try change of air and scene; and as soon as the necessary measures had been taken to repair the losses at our plantation, he prepared to take me to Antigua. I was insensible to every thing, and can only tell you the circumstances since detailed to me. The voyage began well, but in a few days, a hurricane arose, which dismasted the vessel, and wrecked us on the coast of Hayti. The crew were saved with difficulty, but every thing else was lost, and we were in a lamentable situation, prisoners, absolutely destitute; and even Nanina and our man-servant were separated from us. When I missed her, my former conviction of her death returned with double violence; and I became still more unmanageable. She found it very difficult to convince the people of Hayti, that, though a slave, she did not wish for the liberty which they offered; but at last, after much explanation and entreaty, Mr. P. persuaded the government to let her return to our quarters. When she appeared, I knew her, and tenderly embraced her; I also knew my affectionate husband, who had so long been my only nurse. This momentary return of reason was of short duration; it was followed by a fresh access of fever, and all hope of my recovery seemed now to have vanished.
A favourable crisis, however, came. I awoke to restored consciousness; and the first sounds that I heard were from my husband, at my bedside, uttering his pious gratitude to heaven, in a low voice. I scarcely knew the cause of his emotion; but afterwards, when I witnessed his daily and fervent thanksgivings, and became sensible of the cloud which had darkened my understanding, I felt my heart more truly and more deeply touched by religion, than it had ever been, even in the period of my highest enthusiasm. I may, indeed, say, that “The Lord put a new song into my mouth, even a thanksgiving;” and I sincerely prayed that God would permit me to repent of my sins and follies, and that he would turn my whole heart to gratitude and humility.
My trials, however, were not yet over. Every day, indeed, made me more and more conscious of my former errors; and every day I felt more penitent; but I was now to act. Anxiety, want of rest, privations of every kind, and probably infection, soon shewed their effects on my faithful companions; and both yielded to the same horrid fever. Experience of their tender care, during my own tedious recovery, had taught me what to do; and duty, love, and gratitude, gave me strength. I who, till lately, had not known what bodily exertion meant, was now actually the only attendant on these poor patients; and I thank God my humbled spirit was heedless of all trouble.
A French physician, who had been allowed to remain at Hayti during the political changes there, was permitted to visit and prescribe for us. I never can forget his compassionate kindness; and it touched him so much to see me, still very weak, going through every menial work, that he promised to lend me one of his own servants; but government interfered, and for what reason I could never divine, forbade this act of generosity. I am glad of it; for a strong practical lesson was very useful in completing my reform. My anxious cares, however, were ultimately rewarded by the recovery of Mr. P., and of Nanina; and as soon as we were able to leave the miserable house where we had been imprisoned, our good physician obtained leave to remove us to a better situation; and he even ventured to supply us with money, for which we were sadly distressed.
After a long and painful detention, the same active benevolence obtained our release; and as soon as we could hire a vessel, we departed. My kind husband offered to take me to Antigua, and to let me reside there, in the idea that I might have a horrible impression of Jamaica; and he proposed to visit San Pedro himself, from time to time; but I would not consent: the days of folly and selfishness were past—I now knew and felt my duty. We landed in Jamaica, and there a fresh misfortune awaited us. The person who had been appointed to the care of the San Pedro plantation during our absence, refused to give it up; he alleged, that he had been acting under the direct orders of the proprietor; and more than one reference was made to Mr. Crispin, before all the tedious difficulties could be overcome, and before the law authorities would interfere to dispossess him. To us, who had no ready money, a lawsuit was difficult to manage; and a very long time elapsed before Mr. P. was completely reinstated.
A severe illness, under which Mr. Crispin had been labouring, was a great additional source of anxiety to us, and had materially helped to protract the above affair; but shortly after its termination, we received a most kind and fatherly letter from him, announcing his perfect recovery; but intimating, that he considered his illness as a warning to “set his house in order”; and inclosing a deed of gift to Mr. P. of the whole Jamaica property. He said he had always intended to bequeath it to him, but that he preferred giving it then, while Edward was on the spot, that he might make whatever arrangements he liked previous to his return to England. And this he hoped might be soon, as he wished, before he died, to see us once more, and to restore to Mr. P. his Ulleswater estate, which had nearly paid off all his debts. He also sent a considerable sum of money to reimburse our expenses in the lawsuit, and thus effected a sudden change in our circumstances, from poverty to comparative affluence.