When intelligence is brought, by means of such agency, to the mother of a son who happens to be marriageable, that a lady of proper rank has a daughter to be sought, she consults with her husband, and further inquiries are instituted amongst their several friends, male and female; after due deliberation, the connexion being found desirable, the father will consult an omen before negotiations are commenced. The omen to decide the important step is as follows:—Several slips of paper are cut up, on half the number is written 'to be', on the other half, 'not to be'; these papers are mixed together and placed under the prayer-carpet. When the good Mussulmaun is preparing for his evening Namaaz he fails not in his devotions to ask for help and guidance in an affair of so much importance to the father as the happiness and well-being of his son. At the portion of the service when he bows down his head to God, he beseeches with much humility, calling on the great power and goodness of God to instruct and guide him for the best interest of his child; and then he repeats a short prayer expressive of his reliance on the wisdom of God, and his perfect submission to whatever may be His wise decree in this important business. The prayer concluded, he seats himself with solemn gravity on the prayer-carpet, again and again imploring Divine guidance, without which he is sure nothing good can accrue: he then draws one slip from under his carpet; if 'to be' is produced, he places it by his left side;—a second slip is drawn out, should that also bear the words 'to be' the business is so far decided. He then offers thanks and praises to God, congratulates his wife on the successful issue of the omen, and discusses those plans which appear most likely to further the prospects of their dearly-loved son. But should the second and third papers say 'not to be' he is assured in his heart it was so decided by 'that Wisdom which cannot err:' to whom he gives praise and glory for all mercies received at His hand: after this no overture or negotiation would be listened to by the pious father from the same quarter.[8]
The omen, however, proving favourable, the affair is decided; and in order to gain the best possible information of the real disposition of all parties concerned, a confidential friend is sent to the zeenahnah of the young lady's mother to make her own observations on what passes within; and to ascertain, if possible, whether the report brought by the female agent was true or exaggerated; and finally, to learn if their son would be received or rejected as a suitor, provided advances were made.
The female friend returns, after a day or two's absence, to the anxious parents of the youth, and details all she has seen or heard during her visit. The young lady may, perhaps, have been seen (this is not always conceded to such visitors), in which case her person, her manners, her apparent disposition, the hospitality and good breeding of the mother and other members of the zeenahnah, are described; and lastly, it is hinted that, all other things suiting, the young lady being yet disengaged, the projected offer would not be disagreeable to her parents.
The father of the youth then resolves on sending a male agent in due form to negotiate a marriage, unless he happens to be personally acquainted with the girl's father; in which case the lady is desired to send her female agent on the embassy, and the father of the youth speaks on the subject in the meantime to the girl's father.
A very intimate friend of mine was seeking for a suitable match for her son, and being much in her confidence, I was initiated in all the mysteries and arrangements (according to Mussulmaun rule) of the affair pending the marriage of her son.
The young lady to be sought (wooed we should have it), had been described as amiable and pretty—advantages as much esteemed as her rank;—fortune she had none worth mentioning, but it was what is termed in Indian society a good and equal match. The overture was, therefore, to be made from the youth's family in the following manner:
On a silver tray covered with gold brocade and fringed with silver, was laid the youth's pedigree, traced by a neat writer in the Persian character, on richly embossed paper ornamented and emblazoned with gold figures. The youth being a Syaad, his pedigree was traced up to Mahumud, in both paternal and maternal lines, and many a hero and Begum of their noble blood filled up the space from the Prophet down to the youthful Meer Mahumud, my friend's son.
On the tray, with the pedigree, was laid a nuzza, or offering of five gold mohurs, and twenty-one (the lucky number) rupees; a brocaded cover, fringed with silver, was spread over the whole, and this was conveyed by the male agent to the young Begum's father. The tray and its contents are retained for ever, if the proposal is accepted: if rejected, the parties return the whole without delay, which is received as a tacit proof that the suitor is rejected: no further explanation is ever given or required.
In the present instance the tray was detained, and in a few days after a female from their family was sent to my friend's house to make a general scrutiny of the zeenahnah and its inmates. This female was pressed to stay a day or two, and in that time many important subjects underwent discussion. The youth was introduced, and everything according with the views entertained by both parties, the fathers met, and the marriage, it was decided, should take place within a twelvemonth, when the young lady would have accomplished her thirteenth year.
'Do you decide on having Mugganee[9] performed?' is the question proposed by the father of the youth to the father of the young maiden. In the present case it was chosen, and great were the preparations of my friend to do all possible honour to the future bride of her son.