Observations on the Mussulmauns of India / Descriptive of Their Manners, Customs, Habits and Religious Opinions Made During a Twelve Years' Residence in Their Immediate Society

by Mrs. Meer Hasan Ali

The mayndhie supposed to have done its duty, the bandages are removed; his old unnah,[19] the nurse of his infancy (always retained for life), assists him with water to wash off the leaves, dries his feet and hands, rubs him with otta,[20] robes him in his bride's presents, and ornaments him with the guinah. Thus attired he takes leave of his tormentors, sends respectful messages to his bride's family, and bows his way from their guardianship to the male apartment, where he is greeted by a flourish of trumpets and the congratulations of the guests, many of whom present nuzzas and embrace him cordially.

The dinner is introduced at twelve amongst the bridegroom's guests, and the night passed in good-humoured conviviality, although the strongest beverage at the feast consists of sugar and water sherbet. The dancing-women's performances, the display of fireworks, the dinner, pawn, and hookha, form the chief amusements of the night, and they break up only when the dawn of morning approaches.

The bride's female friends take sherbet and pawn after the bridegroom's departure from the zeenahnah, after which they hasten away to the bride's assembly, to detail the whole business of their mission.

I have often heard the ladies complain, that the time hangs very heavy on their hands whilst the party have gone to perform Mayndhie, until the good ladies return with their budget of particulars. Hundreds of questions are then put to them by the inquisitive dames, how the procession passed off?—whether accident or adventure befel them on the march?—what remarks were made on the bride's gifts?—-but most of all they want to know, how the bridegroom looked, and how he behaved under their hands? The events of the evening take up the night in detailing, with the occasional interruptions of dinner, pawn, and sherbet; and so well are they amused, that they seldom feel disposed to sleep until the crowing of the cock warns them that the night has escaped with their diversified amusements.

The eventful Baarraat arrives to awaken in the heart of a tender mother all the good feelings of fond affection; she is, perhaps, about to part with the great solace of her life under many domestic trials; at any rate, she transfers her beloved child to another protection. All marriages are not equally happy in their termination; it is a lottery, a fate, in the good mother's calculation. Her darling child may be the favoured of Heaven for which she prays; she may be, however, the miserable first wife of a licentious pluralist; nothing is certain, but she will strive to trust in God's mercy, that the event prove a happy one to her dearly-loved girl.

I have said the young bride is in close confinement during the days of celebrating her nuptials; on the third she is tormented with the preparations for her departure. The mayndhie must be applied to her hands and feet, the formidable operations of bathing, drying her hair, oiling and dressing her head, dyeing her lips, gums, and teeth with antimony, fixing on her the wedding ornaments, the nut (nose-ring) presented by her husband's family: the many rings to be placed on her fingers and toes, the rings fixed in her ears, are all so many new trials to her, which though a complication of inconveniences, she cannot venture to murmur at, and therefore submits to with the passive meekness of a lamb.

Towards the close of the evening, all this preparation being fulfilled, the marriage portion is set in order to accompany the bride. The guests make their own amusements for the day; the mother is too much occupied with her daughter's affairs to give much of her time or attention to them; nor do they expect it, for they all know by experience the nature of a mother's duties at such an interesting period.

The bridegroom's house is nearly in the same state of bustle as the bride's, though of a very different, description, as the preparing for the reception of a bride is an event of vast importance in the opinion of a Mussulmaun. The gentlemen assemble in the evening, and are regaled with sherbet and the hookha, and entertained with the nuutch-singing and fireworks until the appointed hour for setting out in the procession to fetch the bride to her new home.

The procession is on a grand scale; every friend or acquaintance, together with their elephants, are pressed into the service of the bridegroom on this night of Baarraat. The young man himself is mounted on a handsome charger, the legs, tail, and mane of which are dyed with mayndhie, whilst the ornamental furniture of the horse is splendid with spangles and embroidery. The dress of the bridegroom is of gold-cloth, richly trimmed with a turban to correspond, to the top of which is fastened an immense bunch of silver trimming, that falls over his face to his waist, and answers the purpose of a veil,[21] (this is in strict keeping with the Hindoo custom at their marriage processions). A select few of the females from the bridegroom's house attend in his train to bring home the bride, accompanied by innumerable torches, with bands of music, soldiers, and servants, to give effect to the procession. On their arrival at the gate of the bride's residence, the gentlemen are introduced to the father's apartments, where fireworks, music, and singing, occupy their time and attention until the hour for departure arrives.

The marriage ceremony is performed in the presence of witnesses, although the bride is not seen by any of the males at the time, not even by her husband, until they have been lawfully united according to the common form.