“If you have the real love of such work in your heart, some way will open to you,” replied Mr. Hayle, with a shade of professional formality in his tone.
“But I don’t by any means think that I have,” said Cicely bluntly and yet piteously. “I don’t like going among very poor and miserable people. I think it is dreadful. I have no missionary spirit. You think better of me than I deserve. I would do it, or try to do it, if I saw my way to it, but not from love of the thing. My motive would be simply and purely the wish to do something, to be of use in some way.”
“There could not be a better motive,” said the young clergyman, more naturally. “The love of it would come.”
He was silent for a few moments, then he spoke again, somewhat inconsequently it seemed to Cicely. “Did you not say that you had heard again from Lady Forrester?” he inquired. “Is she not likely to return home even sooner than you expected?”
“Yes,” said Cicely. “She—they, I should say—will probably be in England next summer. But that does not help me. They are only coming home for a few months; not to stay altogether as I hoped.”
“But while they are here, your home will be with them.”
“Oh, yes! for the time, of course, it will be. But when Amiel has to leave me again—” she gave a little shiver. “And for the next few months I am quite at a loss what to do,” she went on in a more practical tone. “Miss Winter cannot stay with me after September; you know she has to look after her sister’s children now? That is why she left Lady Frederica. I don’t know what to do. I must make some plans I suppose. How I envy you, Mr. Hayle! When are you going away; next week did you say?”
“Yes, I think so,” he replied absently.
“I shall miss you so much,” she went on. “I can never tell you how thankful I have felt that you were here. Mamma told me that I must try to tell you how much your kindness had comforted her, and I wish I could thank you sufficiently, but I cannot.”
Mr. Hayle’s face flushed. “You cannot make me happier than by saying I have been of any—of the slightest use to you,” he said. “I only wish I could help you now.”