But before a week had passed, already the impression had faded, if not entirely, yet very nearly so. The shame and regret, the wishing, and for a time meaning, to be, as Chrissie had called it half-jokingly to herself, “gooder,” had no root; they had made fair promise for a moment, and then they “had withered away.” For if children—and people—allow themselves just to be governed by their inclinations; to put off till “more convenient seasons” real penitence, real turning in the right direction; to fill their minds and thoughts with pleasanter subjects than their own faults and failings—why, nothing is easier than to do so! And, on the other hand, more and more difficult does it become to take up the good resolutions again. For in this world we never stand still in character, any more than in our bodies; every day we are growing older, and every day, if we are not growing better, we are growing worse.
So the sudden improvement in her two little daughters, which had brought such happy hopefulness about them to their mother’s heart, proved but sadly passing—indeed, they fell back in several ways, as if, instead of being the better for making the start, they were the reverse; the truth being that, after all, their consciences were not at rest, though they tried to silence them and sometimes succeeded. The sight of the prayer-book always gave Chrissie a twinge, and still worse was the look in Jasper’s reproachful eyes, though after a day or two he left of reminding her of what, in his innocence, he had looked upon as a promise.
And Leila was as lazy and disobliging as ever, often ungenerously taunting Chrissie with ingratitude, which naturally led to very unlovely quarrels.
Neither helped the other in the last. They grew more and more unpunctual and careless and ill-tempered. They only just stopped short of actual rudeness to poor Miss Greenall, and even the pleasant French lessons with their aunt, seemed to have lost their flavour.
“Something has gone wrong,” she said to herself over and over again. “What can it be? I wish I knew what is best to do—how really to make some impression on them. I used to think I was able to influence children,” and she could not help sighing.
She little thought that her own words were so soon to come true. “Sharper lessens will be sent if they do not listen to gentler teaching,” she had said.