Indeed, everything in this world that is worth anything seems mixed up with self-denial! The longer one lives the more one sees this—I suppose it is meant to be so.
There did seem rather more self-denial than need have been about Evey’s birthday. I don’t think so now; it was my own fault that things went wrong. If I had been different about it, lots of going wrong would have been avoided, but I must tell it all straight on as well as I can, and as nearly as it happened.
Two or three days before the birthday, Evey came to me looking rather grave.
“Connie,” she said, “I’ve something to tell you which I’m afraid will vex you rather. It’s about my birthday. You remember what Charley said the other day?”
“About doing something nice for other people on your birthday,” I said. “Oh, you needn’t tell me anything more, Evey. I know what it is—you’re going to ask that horrid Anna Gale; well, I must say, I don’t see that you’ve any right to spoil other people’s pleasure, whatever you choose to do about your own. That is a queer sort of self-sacrifice.”
Yvonne looked very distressed, I had never seen her bright face so troubled before.
“Connie,” she said, “you do make me feel so unhappy, and rather puzzled. I wonder if really I have been selfish when I was so wanting to be unselfish. But it can’t be helped now. I’m not going to ask Anna, because I have asked her.”
Poor Evey; she got red and blurted it out. I think she was a little afraid of me. I was very angry, and I fear something mean in me made me get still more so when I saw that she was frightened.
“Upon my word,” I said, “you’re a queer sort of friend. If it had to be done, you might at least have told me about it, and given me the chance of being self-denying too—it wouldn’t have seemed quite so bad then. But to be forced into joining in a horrid thing and not to get any credit for it, I don’t think that’s fair. I won’t come to your birthday, Evey, that’ll be the best way out of it; and if you do care for me as you make out, that’ll be a little more self-denial, as you’re so fond of it.”
Evey looked on the point of crying, and she very seldom cried.