She looked at me once, then seemed at a loss, then she looked at me again, and at last said something to the girl beside her, and getting up from her seat went to the end of the room, and spoke to a small elderly woman in a brown stuff dress, who was evidently another governess.
This person—I suppose I should say lady—turned round and stared at me. Then she said something to the younger governess, nothing very pleasant, I fancy, for the sweet-looking one—I had better call her by her name, which was Miss Fenmore—went back to her place with a heightened colour.
You may ask how I can remember all these little particulars so exactly. Perhaps I do not quite do so, but still, all that happened just then made a very strong impression on me, and I have thought it over so much and so often, especially since I have had children of my own, that it is difficult to tell quite precisely how much is real memory, how much the after knowledge of how things must have been, to influence myself and others as they did. And later, too, I talked them over with those who were older than I at the time, and could understand more.
So there I stood, a very perplexed little person, though still more perplexed than distressed or disappointed, by the door. Now and then some head was turned to look at me with a sort of stealthy curiosity, but there was no kindness in any of the glances, and the young governess kept her eyes turned away. I was not a pretty child. My hair was straight and not noticeable in any way, and it was tightly plaited, as was the fashion, unless a child's hair was thick enough to make pretty ringlets. My face was rather thin and pale, and there was nothing of dimpling childish loveliness about me. I was rather near-sighted too, and I daresay that often gave me a worried, perhaps a fretful expression.
After all, I did not have to wait very long. The elderly governess finished the page she was reading aloud—she may have been dictating to her pupils, I cannot say—and came towards me.
"Did Miss Aspinall send you here?" she said abruptly.
I looked up at her. She seemed to me no better than our cook, and not half so good-natured.
"Yes," I said.
"Yes," she repeated, as if she was very shocked. "Yes who, if you please? Yes, Miss ——?"
"Yes, Miss," I said in a matter-of-fact way.