“My dear Will, that is my own doing,” said Mary. “Don’t blame your brother. I have refused to go to Earlston. It will always be best for me, for all your sakes, to have a house of my own.”
“If Earlston had been mine, I should not have minded your refusal,” said Will. Perhaps it was as a kind of secret atonement to her and to his own heart that he said so, and yet it was done instinctively, and was the utterance of a genuine feeling. He was meditating in his heart her disgrace and downfall, and yet the first effects of it, if he could succeed, would be to lay everything that he had won by shaming her, at her feet. He would do her the uttermost cruelty and injury without flinching, and then he would overwhelm her with every honour and grandeur that his ill-got wealth could supply. And he did not see how inconsistent those two things were.
“But my boys must mind when I make such a decision,” said Mary; and yet she was not displeased with the sentiment. “You shall go to Carlisle for me,” she added. “I want some little things, and Hugh very likely would be otherwise occupied. If you would like to have a little change, and go early, do not wait for them, Will. There is a train in half an hour.”
“Yes, I would like a little change,” he answered vaguely—feeling somehow, for that moment solely, a little prick of conscience. And so it was by his mother’s desire to restore his good-humour and cheerfulness, that he was sent upon his mission of harm and treachery.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
HILE Hugh showed Nelly the way to the Lady’s Well with that mixture of brotherly tenderness and a dawning emotion of a much warmer kind, which is the privileged entrance of their age into real love and passion; and while Will made his with silent vehemence and ardour to Carlisle, Winnie was left very miserable in the Cottage. It was a moment of reaction after the furious excitement of the previous day. She had held him at bay, she had shown him her contempt and scorn, she had proved to him that their parting was final, and that she would never either see or listen to him again; and the excitement of doing this had so supported her that the day which Aunt Agatha thought a day of such horrible trial to her poor Winnie, was, in short, the only day in which she had snatched a certain stormy enjoyment since she returned to the Cottage. But the day after was different. He was gone; he had assented to her desire, and accepted her decision to all appearance, and poor Winnie was very miserable. For the moment all seemed to her to be over. She had felt sure he would come, and the sense of the continued conflict had buoyed her up; but she did not feel so sure that he would come again, and the long struggle which had occupied her life and thoughts for so many years seemed to have come to an abrupt end, and she had nothing more to look forward to. When she realized this fact, Winnie stood aghast. It is hard when love goes out of a life; but sometimes, when it is only strife and opposition which go out of it, it is almost as hard to bear. She thought she had sighed for peace for many a long day. She had said so times without number, and written it down, and persuaded herself that was what she wanted; but now that she had got it she found out that it was not that she wanted. The Cottage was the very home of peace, and had been so for many years. Even the growth of young life within it, the active minds and varied temperaments of the three boys, and Will’s cloudy and uncomfortable disposition, had not hitherto interfered with its character. But so far from being content, Winnie’s heart sank within her when she realized the fact, that War had marched off in the person of her husband, and that she was to be “left in peace”—horrible words that paralysed her very soul.
This event, however, if it had done nothing else, had opened her mouth. Her history, which she had kept to herself, began to be revealed. She told her aunt and her sister of his misdeeds, till the energy of her narrative brought something like renewed life to her. She described how she had herself endured, how she had been left to all the dangers that attend a beautiful young woman whose husband has found superior attractions elsewhere; and she gave such sketches of the women whom she imagined to have attracted him, as only an injured wife in a chronic state of wrath and suffering could give. She was so very miserable on that morning that she had no alternative but to speak or die; and as she could not die, she gave her miseries utterance. “And if he can do you any harm—if he can strike me through my friends,” said Winnie, “if you know of any point on which he could assail you, you had better keep close guard.”
“Oh, my dear love!” said Aunt Agatha, with a troubled smile, “what harm could he do us? He could hurt us only in wounding you; and now we have you safe, my darling, and can defend you, so he never can harm us.”
“Of course I never meant you,” said Winnie. “But he might perhaps harm Mary. Mary is not like you; she has had to make her way in the world, and no doubt there may be things in her life, as in other people’s, that she would not care to have known.”