John stared at her blankly, taking her meaning with difficulty into his mind: then gradually perception came to him.
‘You want me,’ he said, ‘to go away?’
‘Yes, sir, that’s what it’s come to,’ the woman said, clearing her throat.
John kept his eyes upon her—trying to intimidate her, she thought; in reality, trying to fathom her, to make out what she meant—then he burst into a sudden laugh.
‘To go away—for what? Because I am—in trouble, because my life is not so happy as it has been. Well, it is a good reason enough. Yes, Mrs. Short, I’ll go.’
‘You—in trouble, sir!’ The woman’s voice rose into a sort of shriek. ‘Oh, Mr. Sandford, what have you done? you that were always so respectable. Can’t you put it right? Oh, Mr. Sandford, I never thought of that. How much is it? Tell your ma, sir, and, whatever it costs her, she’ll set it right.’
John found himself strangely amused by all this. It came into the midst of his misery like a scrap of farce to relieve his strained bosom by laughter. He knew well enough, too, the phraseology and ways of thinking of his landlady, and he tried to understand the idea he had suggested to her imagination; and half to keep up the joke, though it was a poor one, half because he was incapable of explanations, he made no other reply.
‘Oh, Mr. Sandford,’ she cried again, coming up to him, laying her hand on his arm, ‘excuse me if I make too free; but tell your ma, sir, for the love of God. She’ll not let you come to shame for a bit of money. Oh, no, no, no! I can tell by myself. I never breathed a word of it to any mortal, but my Tom was once—he was once—I never knew how it could have been, for a better boy never was. It was some temptation of the devil, sir, that’s what it was. I saw the boy was miserable, but I couldn’t get a word out of him—till at last one night I went down on my knees, and I got hold of him where he was sitting with his head in his hands, and forced it from him. It was a good bit of money, sir. I’ll not say but it kept me low a long time: but what was that in comparison with my Tom’s credit, and his situation, and his whole life? He would have fled the country next day, if I hadn’t got it out of him that night. Now, Mr. Sandford, haven’t I a right to speak? Oh, for God’s sake, go out before you sleep and tell your ma!’
‘Mrs. Short, you are a good woman. It’s not what you think. I am not in debt, nor is it money that troubles me. And my mother knows; I’ve told her. Thank you for speaking. I’ll go as soon as I have found another set of rooms, or perhaps I may go abroad. But, anyhow, I’ll clear out within the week since you wish it.’
‘Your mother knows?’ said Mrs. Short, with a tremble in her voice.