“I will go to-morrow!” cried Lottie, wildly; “I would go to-night if it were not dark. I will go—and free you of the burden!” Here she stopped; all the angry colour went out of her face. She looked at them with great wide eyes, appalled; and clasped her hands together with a lamentable cry. “Oh! but I never thought of it before, I never thought of it!” she cried; “where am I to go?”
Law’s heart smote him; he drew a step nearer to her. To agree with his father (however much in his heart he agreed with his father) was abandoning his sister—and his own side. “He doesn’t mean it,” he said soothingly in an undertone; “he only wants to bully you, Lottie. Never mind him, we’ll talk it over after,” and he put his big hand upon her shoulder to console her. Lottie turned upon him, half furious, half appealing. She could not see him till two big tears fell out of her eyes, and cleared her sight a little. She clutched at the hand upon her shoulder in her distraction and despair.
“Come with me, Law. Two of us together, we can go anywhere; two can go anywhere. Oh! how can you tell me never to mind? Do you hear me?” she cried, seizing his arm with both her hands, half shaking him, half clinging to him; “say you will come with me, Law!”
“Stop this stuff!” said the Captain. “I am not telling you to go; I am telling you what is your plain duty, the only thing a woman is fit for. Besides, this young fellow would be of great use to me; it’s your duty to get hold of him for the good of the family. He might say a good word for me at the Horse Guards; he might get Law something. I never expected you would have such a chance. Do you think I want you to go away just when there’s a chance that you might be of some use? Am I a fool, do you think? You’ll stay where you are, Lottie Despard! you’ll not go disgracing your family, governessing, or anything of that sort.”
“Ah!” said Law suddenly, “she’ll wish she had listened to the Signor now.”
“To the Signor? what of the Signor? is he after her too?” cried the Captain eagerly. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush; and though the Signor had no interest with the Horse Guards, he had money, and might be of use in many ways. Captain Despard’s eyes lighted up. “Whew!” he whistled. “Lottie! so, my child, you’ve got two strings to your bow?”
Lottie turned upon her brother, whose arm she had been holding with both her hands. She pushed him, flung him from her with an energy of which she had not appeared capable, and throwing her head high, looked her father in the face and walked out of the room. Law, confounded by the force with which she threw him from her, caught at her angrily as she passed; but she pulled her dress from his hand, and walked past him with a contempt that stung him—callous as he was. As for the Captain, he made no effort to detain her, partly because of his surprise, partly that he was anxious to have more information about (as he supposed) this second suitor. She went straight to her own room, while they stood listening till she had shut the door upon herself and her passion. Then the Captain ventured to laugh again, but low, not to be heard; for the look of any creature driven to bay is alarming, and Lottie’s sudden withdrawal was a relief.
“Whoever gets her will catch a Tartar! eh, Law?” he said. “But now that she’s gone, let’s hear all about the Signor.”
There was no light in Lottie’s room; nothing but the faint starlight outside, and as much of the familiar glimmer of the few feeble lamps in the Dean’s Walk as could get in through her small window. How is it that so small a bit of space, such four straight walls, should hold in such a throbbing, palpitating, agitated being, with projects wide enough and fury hot enough to burst them like a child’s toy? It was in her to have torn her hair or anything that came in the way of her fevered hands; to have filled the air with cries; to have filled the whole world with her protest against the intolerable shame and wretchedness which they were trying to force upon her thoughts! But she only threw herself on her bed in the dark and silence, letting no sound or movement betray her. She was not prostrated as by unkindness, or stung by reproach; but wounded, shamed, desecrated—the very sanctity of her dreams turned into a horror to her. And Law gone against her—Law gone over to the other side!