“Well, because of her in one way,” said Law; “because she is always so strong against it, and because I have no money for a start. You don’t suppose that I would mind otherwise? No; Lottie is all very well, but I don’t see why a man should give into her in everything. She will have to think for herself in future, and so shall I. So, if you will tell me what you think I could do, Mr. Ashford; I should say you don’t think I can do anything after that try,” said Law, with an upward glance of investigation, half-wistful, half-ashamed.
“Have you read English literature much? That tells nowadays,” said the Minor Canon. “If you were to give any weight to my opinion, I would tell you to get the papers for the army examination, and try for that.”
“Ah! that’s what I should like,” cried Law; “but it’s impossible. Fellows can’t live on their pay. Even Lottie would like me to go into the army. But it’s not to be done. You can’t live on your pay. English! Oh, I’ve read a deal of stories—Harry Lorrequer and Soapy Sponge, and that sort of—rot.”
“I am afraid that will not do much good,” said the Minor Canon, shaking his head. “And, indeed, I fear, if you are going to be successful, you must set to work in a more serious way. Perhaps you are good at figures—mathematics?—no!—science, perhaps—natural history——”
“If you mean the Zoological Gardens, I like that,” said Law, beginning to see the fun of this examination; “and I should be very fond of horses, if I had the chance. But that has nothing to say to an office. Figures, ha? yes, I know. But I always hated counting. I see you think there is nothing to be made of me. That is what I think myself. I have often told her so. I shall have to ’list, as I have told her.” Law looked at his companion with a little curiosity as he said this, hoping to call forth an alarmed protestation.
But Mr. Ashford was not horrified. He was about to say, “It is the very best thing you could do,” but stopped, on consideration, for Lottie’s sake.
“You are a man to look at,” he said, “though you are young. Has it never occurred to you till now to think what you would like to be? You did not think you could go on for ever stumbling over ten lines of Virgil? I beg your pardon, I don’t mean to be rude; but the most of us have to live by something, and a young man like you ought to have a notion what he is going to be about. You thought of the Civil Service?”
“I suppose Lottie did,” said Law, getting up and seizing his book. “It is all her doing, from first to last; it is she that has always been pushing and pushing. Yes; what’s the use of trying Virgil? I always felt it was all bosh. I don’t know it, and what’s more, I don’t want to know it. I am not one for reading; it’s not what I would ever have chosen; it is all Lottie, with her nagging and her pushing. And so I may go home and tell her you don’t think me fit for anything?” he added suddenly, with a slight break of unexpected feeling in his voice.
“Don’t do anything of the kind. If you would only be open with me, tell me what are your own ideas and intentions——”
“That’s what everybody says,” said Law, with a smile of half-amused superiority; “open your mind. But what if you’ve got no mind to open? I don’t care what I do; I don’t intend anything; get me in somewhere, and I’ll do the best I can. A fellow can’t speak any fairer than that.”