An Englishwoman in Utah: The Story of a Life's Experience in Mormonism

by Mrs. T. B. H. Stenhouse

Any conclusion, any expression of disgust at these abominations and deliberate perjuries, I leave to the reader.

Among those who came to see Mr. Stenhouse before he left for Italy, was Elder Margetts, an English elder of some prominence in the British mission. At the picnic of which I have already spoken, I noticed that this elder was more than usually attentive to a pretty young sister who was also present. There was always an affectionate familiarity among the Saints; as I previously mentioned, they were like brothers and sisters, and addressed each other as such. But the attentions of the elder I speak of pointed a little beyond all this. He could not, perhaps, be accused of any open impropriety, but he certainly looked much more like the girl’s lover than an ordinary friend or her spiritual adviser.

I knew this Elder’s family in London, and his conduct pained me a good deal. So I drew the attention of my husband to the circumstance; and he said the Elder was foolish, but he would speak to them both; and this he did.

After the departure of the missionaries, this elder remained for several days. He then returned to London, but it was not long before he was again in Southampton, and he still paid marked attention to the same young sister. This caused unpleasant remarks among the Saints, who at this time certainly did not believe that polygamy was practised in Utah.

At a later date this Elder, with some others, was again in Southampton, and I was invited to take tea with them at the house of one of the Saints. In the course of the evening there was a general conversation on “the work of the Lord,” in which I, of course, was greatly interested.

Whenever any of the missionaries were visiting, the Saints would seek their society, just like children who were glad to meet again their parents after a long absence; and at such times they were at liberty to ask what questions they pleased. On the evening I speak of, I well remember that the general subject of conversation was the apostasy of the Christian Church from the true order of God’s salvation. Prominence was given to the history of Abraham and his descendants, and occasional allusion was made to their marital relations; but nothing directly was spoken. It was very evident that these elders only wanted to drop a word or two here and there, to suit those who wanted it; but nevertheless they spoke so obscurely and mysteriously that they could easily have retracted what was said if any one had accused them of teaching a doctrine which they were unwilling openly to avow.

When I returned home that night I was fully satisfied that the Elder I have spoken of had a reason for his frequent visits to Southampton, and shortly after the young sister went to London. Whether Polygamy was ever to be a doctrine of the Church or not, it was very clear to me that the London Elder was a polygamist at heart. The more my mind dwelt on these things, the more sick at heart did I become, and faint and weary.

I had, however, personal cares and trials enough to engage my attention. I found that I could not depend upon the Saints to provide me with even the barest necessaries of life, so I looked about me and made inquiries for some light employment by which I might support myself. My health at that time would not have allowed me to do much, but for a long time I could not get anything at all to do. I had, of course, been used to teaching, but employment of that kind it was just then impossible for me to take, even if I could have got it; the only resource which seemed left to me was to find occupation for my needle, and it was a long and weary time before I could obtain even this.

At length I got a little plain sewing to do, and out of the miserable pittance thus earned I contrived to pay my rent and provide a few necessaries; but at times that too was beyond my power, and I have gone a fortnight at a time with nothing to eat but dry bread. Still my faith never failed. And thus the weary days passed by.

Now, however, a new interest began to gather round my life, for I expected before the end of the year the arrival of a little stranger to share my affections and my care. This certainly was a sad beginning of domestic bliss, but still the thought was pleasant to me. I had at that time no one to aid me or comfort me. The Saints were very kind, but they could not supply the place of an absent husband. My dearest friend, Mary Burton, used to come as often as she could to see me, and her presence was like a gleam of sunshine; but she was so young, and innocent, and happy, that I had not the heart to trouble her with my sorrows. All my jewellery and trinkets, and the greater part of my wardrobe, had gone in providing for my daily wants, and in preparing those necessary trifles upon which a young mother bestows so much loving care. My health was daily failing, and sometimes I doubted if I should ever be well and strong again. But all that I suffered was for the Church, and that thought sustained me.