“And now I have told you all our long talk together, and so you can judge for yourself what a change has taken place since you left.
“The same day, after dinner, Brother Snow called, in company with two other elders, to see Mrs. Elsworth, and to ask her and the girls to a tea-party the next day. Mrs. Elsworth declined; but one young lady would go with Brother Snow, and Miss Caroline went with another elder; and my light-hearted friend waited till her Elder came also to ask her. After that, came Elder Shrewsbury, and I, of course, was to go with him.
“With all my faith, I am very much troubled about these things. They are not right, I think. Why, scarcely a day passes but some of these elders, who appear to have very little to do, call here, and send for one or two of these young sisters, and detain them from their work, much to the annoyance of poor Mrs. Elsworth, who, I believe, will apostatize over it eventually.
“See what a long letter I have written to you! I am afraid it will tire you. I often long to have you here, that I might come to you and tell you all my troubles. But perhaps after all I am wrong, and ought to see things in a different light. Have not the Elders and Apostles positively denied that Polygamy or any other sin was practised in Utah, or formed any part of the Mormon religion? and we know that these men of God would not deceive us.
“Be sure, dear, to write a nice long letter to me very soon; and, with fondest love, remember your own
“Mary Burton.”
I read this letter carefully through, and I sat down and thought of dear Mary Burton, and felt deeply sorry that she should be placed in a situation surrounded by so many temptations. To myself the letter brought a sad confirmation of all my fears. There was something painful in the thought. Had Polygamy been openly avowed as a Mormon doctrine, I should never have joined the Church. But now, what could I do?
After three months’ absence, Mr. Stenhouse was to return home, and I went to Geneva to meet him, feeling very happy when I saw him once again. Numbers of persons, both in Geneva and Lausanne had been converted while he was away, and were waiting for him to baptize them—among them was a retired Protestant minister, Monsieur Petitpierre, of whom I have something yet to mention. We began at last to rejoice in our success, and to be thankful that the Lord had answered our prayers.
I was now more than ever anxious about Polygamy. From much thinking on that subject, it had become the haunting spectre of my existence, and I dreaded what every day might bring forth. The news which my husband brought with him by no means reassured me. He told me that he had heard in England from the American Elders that there was a general expectation among the Saints in Utah that at the October Conference in Salt Lake City, Brigham Young would publish to the world that Polygamy was a doctrine of the Mormon Church.
After all the prevarications and denials then of the Apostles and Elders, Polygamy among the Saints was really a fact. As the truth became clearer to my mind, I thought I should lose my senses. The very foundations of my faith were shaken, and not only did I feel a personal repugnance to the unholy doctrine, but I began to realize that the men to whom I had listened with such profound respect, and had regarded as the representatives of God, had been guilty of the most deliberate and unblushing falsehood; and I began to ask myself whether, if they could do this in order to carry out their purpose in one particular, they might not be guilty of deception upon other points? Who could I trust now? For ten years the Mormon Prophets and Apostles had been living in Polygamy at home, while abroad they vehemently denied it, and spoke of it as a deadly sin. This was a painful awakening to me; we had all of us been betrayed. I lost confidence in man, and almost began to question within myself whether I could even trust in God.