THE LEES AT ST. LOUIS, 1838 TO 1839. In 1837 another son was born, and although Lee had received orders to report to St. Louis he was able to remain at Arlington until he was assured the mother and baby were doing well. Christmas he was home again, remaining there till spring so Mrs. Lee and the two boys could return with him to St. Louis. Little Mary stayed behind with her grandparents, which may have compensated them somewhat for the absence of her parents the following Christmas.
Now a captain, Lee brought his family home in the spring of 1839 for Mrs. Lee to await the arrival of their fourth child, though he could not remain for the event. Early in July, he heard a new daughter had joined the family circle, but not until Christmas did he get to see her.
An incident which probably occurred that winter illustrates the seriousness with which Lee viewed his family responsibilities. He and 8-year-old Custis had gone for a walk one snowy day, the boy following behind while his father broke the way. Preoccupied with ploughing through the deep snow, the father failed to look behind for some time, and when he did, saw that his little son was setting his feet carefully in the tracks his father had made, while imitating his every movement. “When I saw this,” Lee related afterwards, “I said to myself, ‘It behooves me to walk very straight, when the little fellow is already following in my tracks’.”
LEE AT FORT HAMILTON, N. Y., 1841 TO 1846. Lee did not return to St. Louis until the summer of 1840, and then only to finish up his work and return home. There his fifth child, a girl, was born the following February. Soon after, Lee was sent to Fort Hamilton, N. Y., where he remained on duty until 1846. During these years it was customary for his family to be with him at New York during the summer and fall months and at Arlington the rest of the year, where Lee usually passed the winter. Two more children, a boy and a girl, were born in these years. Telling a friend about the arrival of the boy, Lee wrote: “About a month ago a young Robert E. Lee made his appearance at Arlington, much to the surprise and admiration of his brothers and sisters. He has a fine long nose like his father, but no whiskers.”
WAR WITH MEXICO, 1846 TO 1848. Because war with Mexico seemed imminent when Lee went back to Fort Hamilton in the spring of 1846, Mrs. Lee and the children remained at Arlington. Hostilities began in May, and in August Lee was ordered to report for service in Mexico. Returning home, he spent a few days at Arlington arranging his affairs, then said goodbye to his family. Twenty-two months passed before he saw it again, months of anxiety for those waiting at home, relieved only by his long and frequent letters, such as the one he wrote to his two eldest sons the day before Christmas, 1846: “I hope good Santa Claus will fill my Rob’s stocking to-night: that Mildred’s, Agnes’s, and Anna’s may break down with good things. I do not know what he may have for you and Mary, but if he only leaves for you one half of what I wish, you will want for nothing!”
The war ended early in 1848, and seeing many of the returning volunteers enjoy Mr. Custis’ hospitality at Arlington Spring must have made the Lees more impatient for the return of their own hero. When Lee finally arrived in Washington he missed the carriage sent for him, and so procured a horse to ride home. None of those anxiously watching for a glimpse of the carriage noticed the lone horseman ascending the hill, and not till “Spec,” Lee’s dog, rushed out joyfully barking did they realize their soldier was home. Great was the excitement as he greeted them in the hall, and his mistaking a friend’s little boy for his own added to the hilarity. “Here I am again, my dear Smith,” Lee wrote to his brother the next day, “perfectly surrounded by Mary and her precious children, who seem to devote themselves to staring at the furrows in my face and the white hairs in my head.... I find them too much grown, and all well, and I have much cause for thankfulness and gratitude to that good God who has once more united us.”
Robert E. Lee in civilian dress, about 1850.
THE LEES AT ARLINGTON, 1848 TO 1849. The summer of 1848 was a happy one at Arlington, for Lee was on duty in Washington and was promoted to brevet colonel, so that hereafter he would be titled “Colonel Lee.” Toward the end of the year he was assigned to supervise the construction of a new fort in Baltimore, but soon after officially taking over the project, he returned to Arlington. This was the winter that a guest at Arlington observed Lee’s face in quiet repose as he read to his family assembled about the table one night, and thought to herself: “You certainly look more like a great man than any one I have ever seen.”
Mrs. Lee and her mother made an equally favorable impression on a lady who visited Arlington the next spring. “We had tea in the Washington teacups, and Mrs. Lee took me into the tangled neglected gardens, full of rose-buds, and allowed me to pick my fill of the sweet dainty Bon Silene variety, which she told me blossomed all winter. What a view that was!... Mrs. Lee had the face of a genius: a wealth of dark hair, carelessly put up, gave her fine head the air of one of Romney’s portraits. She was most lovely and sympathetic. Her mother, Mrs. Custis, was a woman full of character.”