“I am,” confessed Mrs. Carr, the quick tears coming to her eyes.
“There, there, my dear, rest easy. I reckon this is the first time you’ve been married, ain’t it?”
“Yes,” returned Dorothy, forcing a pitiful little smile.
“I thought so. Now, when you’re as used to it as I be, you won’t take it so hard. You may think men folks is all different, but there’s a dretful sameness to ’em after they’ve been through a marriage ceremony. Marriage is just like findin’ a new penny on the walk. When you first see it, it’s all shiny an’ a’most like gold, an’ it tickles you a’most to pieces to think you’re gettin’ it, but after you’ve picked it up you see that what you’ve got is half wild Indian, or mebbe more—I ain’t never been in no mint. You may depend upon it, my dear, there’s two sides to all of us, an’ before marriage, you see the wreath—afterwards a savage.
“I’ve had seven of ’em,” she continued, “an’ I know. My father give me a cemetery lot for a weddin’ present, with a noble grey marble monumint in it shaped like a octagon—leastways that’s what a school-teacher what boarded with us said it was, but I call it a eight-sided piece. I’m speakin’ of my first marriage now, my dear. My father never give me no weddin’ present but the once. An’ I can’t never marry again, ’cause there’s a husband lyin’ now on seven sides of the monumint an’ only one place left for me. I was told once that I could have further husbands cremationed an’ set around the lot in vases, but I don’t take to no such heathenish custom as that.
“So I’ve got to go through my declinin’ years without no suitable companion an’ I call it hard, when one’s so used to marryin’ as what I be.”
“If they’re all savages,” suggested Dorothy, “why did you keep on marrying?”
“Because I hadn’t no other way to get my livin’ an’ I was kinder in the habit of it. There’s some little variety, even in savages, an’ it’s human natur’ to keep on a-hopin.’ I’ve had ’em stingy an’ generous, drunk an’ sober, peaceful an’ disturbin’. After the first few times, I learned to take real pleasure out’n their queer notions. When you’ve learned to enjoy seein’ your husband make a fool of himself an’ have got enough self-control not to tell him he’s doin’ it, nor to let him see where your pleasure lies, you’ve got marryin’ down to a fine point.
“The third time, it was, I got a food crank, an’ let me tell you right now, my dear, them’s the worst kind. A man what’s queer about his food is goin’ to be queerer about a’most everything else. Give me any man that can eat three square meals a day an’ enjoy ’em, an’ I’ll undertake to live with him peaceful, but I don’t go to the altar again with no food crank, if I know it.
“It was partly my own fault, too, as I see later. I’d seen him a-carryin’ a passel of health food around in his pocket an’ a-nibblin’ at it, but I supposed it was because the poor creeter had never had no one to cook proper for him, an’ I took a lot of pleasure out of thinkin’ how tickled he’d be when I made him one of my chicken pies.