Now, my mother, not having been in particularly good health this summer, and so far not having a school because of her health, is, you know, a fine teacher. I have been considering having her come East with Elizabeth Ann ..., take a two or three-room apartment, have her tutor Elizabeth Ann part of the day and have E. A., for the sake of being thrown in with children, go to kindergarten the other part of the day.
It will involve quite a bit of expense considering that I myself can live on my salary, but could not begin to keep two others. Mother would simply be hired in the capacity of a teacher, though of course the compensation she would ask of me in money would be small in proportion to that which I might be obliged to pay a regular tutor. I would, however, have to maintain an apartment, buy the food, clothe all of us, and meet E. A.’s kindergarten expenses and other expenses connected with such a program.
If, for instance, you would be willing to help to the extent of taking care of E. A.’s kindergarten expenses, and Mrs. Votaw would meet her expenses so far as clothes are concerned—and I would endeavor to be as economical as possible and still keep her looking as well as the children she comes in contact with at school—it would relieve me greatly. It is possible that my mother can find something worth while to do and would be able to fill in the hours E. A. is in school to advantage.
As I said, I am assuming that you have told Mrs. Votaw. I know in my heart that you girls could not be his sisters and feel disinterested to the point of not being eager to do anything you could—and I have an idea that Mrs. Votaw could be appealed to to see the thing in its true light, as a problem that I am up against for him as well as myself. You know, of course, that I would not think of having E. A. go through her life and not know who she is,—I am too proud of it, to begin with, and it is only fair to her to know. And when I feel she should know, I would adore to be able to tell her how her father’s people came to my rescue so that she might be reared in the manner he has so often pictured to me. And when that time comes I would love to have her be more than merely acquainted with you. I need not say that she is the most lovable of children—all that have I told you—but I may say that I feel some day she will make us proud of her, if she has the opportunity she should have as his daughter.
As I say, I have people in mind whom I would feel absolutely safe in going to—men in particular of whom E. A.’s father has spoken with fondness,—but it seems to me that we, as two families interested, should be able to work out some means, through working together for her good—and, after all, the burden will not fall upon the shoulders of one of us, but on all.
I am writing to Mrs. Votaw tonight, asking her if I may run down, very possibly this week-end, to see her. I imagine it is her delicacy of feeling toward me that has inclined her to remain silent. But it is absolutely my problem to solve and I feel I must reach out in every right direction until I exhaust every effort. Then, and only then, will I feel justified in turning to outsiders.
Curious how sure I feel that things will come out all right. I merely feel that instinctive longing to do the thing that is right and to be fair with everybody, and have everybody deal fairly with me. It is bound to come out that way....
Lots and lots of loving thoughts to you.
Affectionately,
Nan Britton Neilsen”