Never be so pre-occupied with drinking as not to be on the look-out for the lady under your care. She has a right to her share of the liquids.
Never be embarrassed. Retain your self-possession if you are choking.
Never forget your own wants under any circumstances. Remember that self-respect is as much of a virtue as respect for others.
Never be self-conscious. Guzzle quietly, and let others take care of themselves.
Never, on the other hand, push self-depreciation to the wall. Never lose sight of the fact that, while you are a gentleman, you are also an American sovereign feasting at some one else’s expense. All sovereigns do that.
Never, if called upon for a toast, be afraid to pledge yourself. It you don’t blow your own trumpet, who will blow it for you?
Never use your fork for a tooth-pick, nor the edge of the table-cloth for a napkin. Summon a servant, and make known your wants in imperious, stentorian tones.
Never lounge back in your chair, and request the waiter to pour wine down your throat, if too unsteady to longer hold a glass. This is apt to be noticeable.
Never rest both elbows on the table, while shuffling your feet nervously underneath it, and trying to steer one more glass to your lips. If paralysis threatens, request to be led out.
Never lose your temper. “When a man has well-dined,” says an old playwright, “he should feel in a good humor with all the world.”