Never forget to be kind, even while feigning deafness to all insinuations as to refreshment. “Kindness iz an instinkt,” says Josh Billings, “while politeness iz only an art.”
Never neglect to give her at least a portion of your umbrella, when escorting her through the rain. If it should rain cats and dogs, as the saying goes, an adjournment beneath an awning, or front-stoop, might be deemed advisable.
Never, if walking with a tramp, introduce him to every acquaintance you chance to meet. It is a free country, but the line must be drawn somewhere.
Never, if you have occasion to address a strange lady, scrape, cringe and wriggle before her in an agony of politeness. To raise your hat gravely, place your hand on your heart, and yield her a low, sweeping obeisance, with your shoulders shrugged considerably higher than your ears, is sufficient. You are not supposed to be a Corean ambassador in the presence of Jay Gould.
Never address questions to strangers indiscriminately, especially as to their secret and private affairs. Communicativeness is not a necessary outcome of a total lack of sodality.
Never, even in questioning a policeman, fan him with his own club, note down his number, and ask him if he has yet got the hair off his teeth. Though in livery, he may yet be above the brute creation.
Never ask questions at all, but consult this Hand Book.
Never, if suddenly confronted on the promenade by a hostile acquaintance, accept his proposition to fight him in the gutter for a pot of beer. You are not a Prize Fighter.
Never forget to pick up a lady’s handkerchief, if she lets it fall by accident; not with effusive familiarity, but daintily on the end of your cane or umbrella. Common civility is one of the cardinal points of good breeding.
Never pick it up at all, if she drops it purposely. You needn’t set your foot on it, or scowl at her; but coquetry is one of the vices deserving of silent reproof.