“Domestic service is the only profession in Europe the day whaur the supply’s less than the demand, and if I had twa or three boys ready to gang oot and work for themselves, I wad sooner mak’ them into scullery-maids than apprentice them wi’ an electrical engineer.
“In the last ten years wha ever heard o’ a servant lassie oot o’ a situation ony langer than the time she took to rin frae ae hoose to anither, if she had the richt number of hands and een?
“She disna need to gang ony where lookin’ for a place; the sleuth-hounds o’ Dowanhill track her to her lair as soon as she’s landed at the Broomielaw or Buchanan Street Station, and mak’ a grab at her afore she learns enough o’ the language to ask her wye to a registry.
“A new servant in a hoose is like a Field Marshal back frae the front,—she’s trated wi’ sae muckle deference. Ye daurna mak’ a noise through the day for fear it’ll spoil her sleep. Ye pit on the fire for her in the mornin’, and brush her golfin’ buits afore ye start for the office. Ye pay sixpence a day o’ car fares for her to go and see her kizzens in case she’s wearyin’, puir thing! And if ‘Rob Roy’s’ on at the theatre ye’ll be as weel to let her know and gie her tickets for it, or she’ll gie notice when she reads the creeticism in the paper and finds oot she missed it. Mair nor a dizzen societies have been started for giving medals and rewards to servant lassies that have been a lang lang while in the ae situation; they’re worked oh a graduated scale:—
“Hoosemaids, in one situation two months—Bronze medal of the Society and 30s. Generals, three months—Silver medal and fountain pen.
“Plain cook, six months—Gold medal, £5, and gramophone.
“Whit the country wants is the municeepilisation o’ domestic service. The better h’oosin’ o’ the poor’s a thing that there’s nae hurry for. Plain cooks and general servants that ken the difference between a cake o’ black lead and a scrubbing-brush are a communal needcessity; they can nae mair be done withoot than gas, water, skoosh cars, or the telephone.
“The Corporations should import and train Mary Anns in bulk, gie them a nate uniform and thirty shillin’s a week, and hire them oot ‘oorly, daily, weekly, or monthy, as required, reserving for them a’ the rights and privileges that belong to them, wi’ limitation o’ workin’ ‘oors, strick definition o’ duties, stipulated nichts oot, and faceelities for followers. Look at the polis. Ye can depend on gettin’ a polisman nine times oot o’ ten if ye want him; a lassie to gang oot wi’ the pramlater, or a hoose-tablemaid, should be jist as easy got by every ratepayer when wanted, and that’s only to be secured by the Corporations takin’ the domestic service into their ain haunds.”