My position is a hard one. Were Pearl the only one to be coped with, there would be no doubt of the future, but with a social Oyama like Mrs. Radigan opposing you, there can be little hope. Mrs. Radigan is very frank. She got me in a corner the other day and proceeded to explain to me why the engagement should be broken at once. Pearl's happiness for life was at stake, she said, and surely I would sacrifice myself for her. But is it happiness? said I. She told me that I was a child. Pearl would be a duchess, the mistress of four castles; she would take precedence over Clarissa Bumpschus, who had married the Duke of Nothingham, and over Evangeline Very, who was to wed the Earl of Less; she could snub Ethel Bumpschus, who had always been a snob, anyway; and the Japanese war would be forgotten while the wedding was under way. Was this not happiness for any girl? As for me, she promised me that I should be best man, and surely it would give me more distinction to be best man for a duke than to be the groom myself.
I admitted that the prospect was dazzling all around, but asked about the Duke's debts, which I had heard ran up close to a million, not counting the bull pups, and would eat a large hole in Pearl's pocket-book. Mrs. Radigan laughed. Trust her for that, she said. The Bumpschuses had settled Nothingham's debts for ten cents on the dollar, and she was sure that $500,000 would mend Nocastle's roofs and satisfy his creditors. She appealed to my sense of honor. Was it right for me to expect Pearl to marry a plain American real-estate agent when she could have at her call one of the greatest men in England? It was selfish of me, I admitted. Then, weary of it all, in rather hopeless fashion, I said that we had best leave it all to Pearl.
Mrs. Radigan was triumphant. She seemed to think the last obstacle to a noble brother-in-law removed. She said that I was a dear, unselfish boy, and all that. She could now go on with her plans, and would have the wedding right after Lent at St. Edward's. Just then Pearl came in, all aglow from a forty-mile spin in her car with Marian Speechless, and when she had emerged from her furs she sank into a chair and called for tea and cigarettes.
I gave her a light, and when she was smoking contentedly, Mrs. Radigan said: "It's all settled." Then she explained that I was willing to retire in favor of his Grace.
Pearl just smiled and smoked—that inscrutable smile of hers.
"Well?" said Mrs. Radigan sharply.
"Well?" said Pearl, blowing rings.
"The engagement's off," said Mrs. Radigan.
"Which one?" said Pearl smiling.
"The present one," said Mrs. Radigan sharply.