Poor Youth—“That’s easily avoided. Be a typewriter, as I am. Employers never put on airs over me. I know how to take the starch out of em.”

“Eh? What do you do?”

“Ask em to spell a hard word now and then.

THE NEWS OF ALL NATIONS.

Blames Cat for Loss of Ship.

Captain Roland F. Quillen, of Bethel, Va., whose three-masted schooner William J. Quillen was sunk off Cape Hatteras after a collision with the Norwegian steamship Laly, never again will take a cat to sea. He attributes the accident, which nearly cost his life and the lives of his crew, to a gray cat which he had aboard.

“I’ve shipped for twenty-five years and always have taken along dogs,” Captain Quillen said. “Just before I started from Baltimore for Mayport, Fla., somebody stole my dog. So I got a cat—a gray cat. Cats are bad luck, I guess. This was my first accident. The cat was lost.”

Turn Funeral Coach into a “Tango Car.”

The dead business is dead in Atlantic City, N. J. This is the conclusion of the management of the Atlantic City & Shore Fast Line after six months’ experiment in specializing in the dying business.