“Why don’t you do as I do? I always get my money regularly.”
“How do you manage it?”
“It’s very simple. For instance, I am teaching a boy French, and on the first day of the quarter his folks don’t send the money for the lessons. In that event I give him the following sentences to translate and write out at home: ‘I have no money. The quarter is up. Hast thou got any money? I need money very much. Why hast thou not brought the money this morning? Did thy father not give thee any money?’ That fetches them.”
WHERE’S THE JOKE?
Daniel Webster liked to make remarks of a character intended to puzzle simple minds. Stopping to dinner one day at a country inn on his way to Marshfield, he was asked by the hostess if he usually had a good appetite.
“Madam,” answered Webster, “I sometimes eat more than I do at other times; but never less.”
The inhabitants of the village where this profound Hibernicism was uttered, have probably been at work ever since trying to comprehend its exact purport.