"Goodness gracious! what interesting news I am going to hear from you! I could never have imagined that Nosdrieff could have been compromised in this affair or conspiracy."
"And I imagined it from the very beginning." "When you come to think of it, it is really wonderful what happens in this world. Whoever could have anticipated it, especially when you recollect that Tchichikoff, since his arrival in Smolensk has had scarcely sufficient time to look about him, and here he is on the eve of creating a sensation in our town unequalled in the annals of the Russian Empire since Ivan Vasilievitch the Terrible. Ah, my dear Anna Grigorievna, if you could only imagine how terribly frightened and perplexed I feel now, and certainly, without your sympathy and friendship I should have been on the very brink of my grave—should indeed. Maschinka, my chambermaid, made the remark that I was as pale as death. 'Darling ladyship,' says she to me, 'you are as pale as death. 'Maschinka,' was my reply, 'that must not now be a matter of preoccupation with me.' Such then is the fact. Even Nosdrieff is implicated. Well, I'm sure, I never could have believed it."
[CHAPTER XIX.]
The simply amiable lady felt an irrepressible desire to ascertain if possible all the details of Tchichikoff's conspiracy, that is to say the particular day and hour, in fact, she wished to know a very great deal indeed. The in every respect amiable lady simply declared that she knew nothing positive on the subject. She did not know how to invent a falsehood; to anticipate something was another question with her, and then it was only advanced when her suppositions were based upon intimate conviction. When, therefore, she felt inwardly convinced in her opinion, it was that she knew how to defend her argument, and daring indeed would have been the man or learned advocate who would have tried to dissuade her from her opinion once fixed, whatever cleverness or learnedness a lawyer might be possessed of; and though he be able to boast that he could defeat the opinions of any adversary, he would have stood no chance with our in every respect amiable lady, such would have been the proofs of intimate conviction which she could have exhibited to him.
Both ladies at last perfectly agreed upon the point, that that which they had at first laid down as a supposition had still remained a presupposition; and in that there is indeed nothing surprising. Men of our profession, for example, learned men, at least such we believe ourselves to be, and nearly on the same principle as these two amiable ladies; and as a proof of it we may only allude to our learned critics. In the beginning, such a learned gentleman starts with his task like a sneaking flatterer; he begins timidly, with moderation, in fact he begins with the most innocent question: is this not a quotation? or, is this not a copy from such and such a page? or, does this document not belong to such and such an age? or, are we not to trace these people as the descendants of such and such a nation?
And now they begin to refer and quote, the authority of numerous ancient authors; but scarcely have they discovered a point to rest upon, if ever so unimportant, when he already feels spirited and courageous, begins to converse freely with the ancient genius, and even addresses questions to him, which, of course, he thinks proper to answer himself immediately, forgetting altogether that he begun with a timid presupposition; it now seems to him that he sees all, that every particular is clear to him; and his review is concluded with the words—it was thus then that it happened, these people are the descendants of such and such a nation; and it is, therefore, upon this particular point that we must base our judgment, and look upon the subject. It is thus that a novelty is proclaimed, as if from the pulpit, and the new truth ushered into the world, where it is sure to find numerous followers and advocates.
At the time when the two ladies had so happily and sagaciously decided this very complication, the Imperial Procurator, with his always impassible countenance, heavy eyebrows, and winking eyes, entered the reception-room, and was immediately ushered into the presence of the two intimate friends. Both ladies, as if for a wager, endeavoured to explain to him, at the same time, all the particulars of Tchichikoff's conspiracy; they spoke to him of the sale and purchase of dead serfs, of the projected elopement with the Lord-Lieutenant's daughter, so that they completely confused his judgment; he stood there as if riveted to the spot, winking his left eye more than his right, and passing his pocket-handkerchief across his face and nose, wiping off the snuff; but he could understand absolutely nothing.
The two ladies left the Imperial Procurator thus standing, and went to carry the news, and create a revolution in the ancient town of Smolensk. This enterprise they succeeded in carrying out in no less than half-an-hour. The town was soon in a perfect uproar; every one was soon revolutionised, but nobody could understand anything about the cause. The two ladies spread such a mist over the eyes of all, that all, especially the civilians, became, as it were, petrified for some time.
Their position, in the first moments, was similar to that of a sleepy schoolboy, whose comrades, taking advantage of his somnolence, had risen earlier, and placed an hussar in his nose, namely, a small paper cornet, containing snuff. Whilst fast asleep, he inhales all the snuff through his nostrils with the ease of a snorer; he awakens suddenly, jumps from his bed, looks about like a fool, rubs his eyes repeatedly, and cannot make out where he is, and what has happened to him; he then only perceives that it is late, and that the rays of the sun are shining brightly on the wall of his room; he hears the laughter of his school-fellows, hiding themselves in the corners, the daylight entering his window, shining over the dark forest in the distance—hears the thousand voices of birds gaily humming in the garden—sees the silvery stream beneath, with its pleasant footpaths, planted on either side with their tall poplars—beholds numerous other little children playing about, and ready to plunge into the water for a bath; and then only, and at last, he feels convinced that he has had a hussar placed in his nose.