Home Life in Russia, Volumes 1 and 2 / [Dead Souls]

by Nikolai Vasilevich Gogol

But the constitution of his full and rosy cheeks was so excellent, that with an extraordinary fertility of growth, a new pair of whiskers soon made their appearance again, and even finer and stronger than the former.

But the strangest feature in his character was—and this could perhaps only happen in Russia—that a very short time after, he could coolly meet again the very same friends who had but recently horsewhipped him, and meet them as if nothing had been the matter between them; and as the phrase goes, he said nothing, and they said nothing about it.

Nosdrieff was in some respects also an historical personage. He never went to an evening party without there being some talk about him afterwards. Some event or another was sure to take place wherever he went; he would either be obliged to leave the room under an escort of strangers, or be forcibly led away by his own friends, who ventured to introduce him. If either of these cases did not happen, it might be depended upon that something else was sure to occur and make him notorious, and which to any other person would not happen under any circumstances; he would either get tipsy to such a degree as to do nothing else but laugh continually, or commit himself to such a degree that at last he will begin to blush at them himself.

Strange to say, he would try to impose upon persons without the least advantage to himself: he would of a sudden protest, that once he possessed a horse or a dog of a green or a blue colour, and such and similar nonsense; so that those who have been listening to him, will leave him and say, "what falsehoods that man is telling, to be sure!"

There are people, who have a passion for injuring their fellow-men frequently without any provocation. Some of us Russians, for an example, men of rank, of prepossessing appearance and with large decorations on their breasts, will often give you unquestionable assurances of friendship whilst pressing your hand warmly, speak to you about scientific things, which require deep study—and then, the very next moment, and in your presence, they will go and play you some base trick. And they will injure you as meanly as a man of the fifteenth degree of the Russian nobility—which by the bye is the lowest, though this was not at all what you could have expected from a man wearing a star or two on his breast, discussing scientific things which require deep study and serious meditation. So great will your surprise be at his conduct, that you will remain abashed, shrug your shoulders, and say nothing.

Nosdrieff had exactly such a passion, whoever was the more acquainted or befriended by him, was sure to be the chosen victim of this despicable passion of his; he launched some of his monstrous nonsense, anything more stupid could scarcely be imagined, yet he succeeded either in breaking off some promise of marriage or some contract of sale, and what not; and in doing all that, he never called himself your enemy; on the contrary, if fate would have it, that you should meet him again, he would accost you like an old friend, and even say, "halloah! here you are at last, but you are not my dear fellow, because you never come to see me."

Nosdrieff was in many respects also a multifarious man, to use a common phrase, we may call him, a man up to anything and everything. At the same instant he would propose to you, to go and drive wherever you like, If even to the end of the world, or in search of Sir John Franklin, then again he would be ready to enter into any speculation with you, exchange with you everything that could possibly be exchanged,—a rifle, a dog, a horse, not that he had any object of gain in it, not at all, it was simply another trait of his restless and foolish character.

If fate would have it so, that he might meet an inexperienced player or a flat at any of the towns or fairs which he used to visit, and that he should win of him his money in a gambling match, he would buy all and everything that would be first brought under his notice or be offered to him; he then purchased indiscriminately, horse-collars, perfumes, and neckerchiefs for the nurse of his children, a stallion, grapes, a silver mouth bason, Irish linen, buckwheat flour, tobacco, holster-pistols, Dutch herrings, oil paintings, mechanical instruments, pots and saucepans, boots, china tea-services—in fact, as long as his money lasted, he would continue his purchases.

However, it was a rare occurrence when any of this great variety of articles were ever sent to his home; it happened nearly invariably that all these goods passed the very day of their purchase into the hands of some more fortunate gambler, very frequently even he would have to make the addition of his favourite Turkish pipe, with its amber mouth-piece and other ornaments, and he had even known extreme cases, when he had to part with his carriage, horses, and coachman, so that he, the master, was left behind, possessing for the time being nothing he could call his own but his clothes, running about to find some friend to give him a place in his carriage and drive him home—and this seems very much to have been the case with him in this instance, when he met with Tchichikoff at the inn.

Meanwhile, the three carriages had arrived before the gates of Nosdrieff's house. In the house there had been no preparations made for their reception. In the centre of the dining room there was a scaffolding on which two mouzhiks were standing, and whitewashing the wall and ceiling, whilst singing the tune of some interminable song. Nosdrieff immediately gave orders that the workmen as well as the scaffoldings should quit the room, and hastened into an adjoining apartment to give the necessary instructions to that effect. His guests heard Him give his commands for the preparation of a dinner to his cook; when this was audibly heard by Tchichikoff, he began to feel an appetite, as well as the conviction that they should not be able to sit to table before five o'clock.