Ladies and Gentlemen,—my spouse and I

Have had a squabble, and I’ll tell you why.

He said I must appear; nay, vowed ’twas right

To give you thanks for favours shown to-night.

...

He still insisted, and, to win consent,

Strove to o’ercome me with a compliment;

Told me that I the favourite here had reigned,

While he but small or no applause had gained.

“Pen me some lines where I may talk and swagger,