But let us proceed.
| £. | |
| A million of pounds of sugar, estimated by the returns of excise masters, at 8d. | 33,333 |
| (This is double the quantity we want; but as it is pernicious neither to health nor morals, I let it pass.) | |
| 200,000lb. of tea, at 3s. 6d. | 35,000 |
| 2,000 ditto hyson, at 14s. (Most of these unnecessary.) | 1,400 |
| Coffee, molasses, spices, &c. | 10,000 |
| Dry goods, | 250,000 |
| £.329,733 |
The whole settlement will stand thus:
| £. | |
| Necessary expenses, | 66,150 |
| Unnecessary, ditto, | 23,530 |
| Rum, and other distilled spirits, | 90,000 |
| Other foreign articles, | 329,733 |
| £.510,413 | |
| Interest of the federal and State debts, | £.130,000 |
Now, good people, I have a word of advice for you. I will tell you how to pay your taxes and debts, without feeling them.
1st. Fee no lawyers.
You say lawyers have too high fees. I say they have not. They cost me not one farthing. Do as I have always done, and lawyers' fees will be no trouble at all. If I want a new coat, or my wife wants a new gown, we have agreed to wear the old ones until we have got cash or produce to pay for them. When we buy, we pay in hand; we get things cheaper than our neighbors; merchants never dun us, and we have no lawyers' fees to pay. When we see sheriffs and duns knocking at the doors of our neighbors, we laugh at their folly. Besides, I keep a little drawer in my desk, with money enough in it to pay the next tax; and I never touch a farthing until the collector calls. Now, good folks, if you will take the same method, you will save out of lawyers' fees and court charges, on the most moderate calculations, 20,000l. a year.
2dly. I allow my family but two gallons of rum a year. This is enough for any family, and too much for most of them. I drink cyder and beer of my own manufacture; and my wife makes excellent beer, I assure you. I advise you all to do the same. I am astonished at you, good folks. Not a mechanic or a laborer goes to work for a merchant, but he carries home a bottle of rum. Not a load of wood comes to town, but a gallon bottle is tied to the cart stake to be filled with rum. Scarcely a woman comes to town with tow cloth, but she has a wooden gallon bottle in one side of her saddle bags, to fill with rum. A stranger would think you to be a nation of Indians by your thirst for this paltry liquor. Take a bit of advice from a good friend of yours. Get two gallons of rum in a year; have two or three frolics of innocent mirth; keep a little spirit for a medicine, and let your common drink be the produce or manufacture of this country. This will make a saving of almost 400,000 gallons of rum, or 80,000l. a year.
3dly. Never buy any useless clothing.
Keep a good suit for Sundays and other public days; but let your common wearing apparel be good substantial cloths, and linens of your own manufacture. Let your wives and daughters lay aside their plumes. Feathers and fripperies suit the Cherokees or the wench in your kitchen; but they little become the fair daughters of America.[42] Out of the dry goods imported, you may save 50,000l. a year.