AN INDIAN'S GLASS WAGON.
The Osages as a people are the richest on earth. From the interest on the money which the United States Government borrowed from them as a nation and from the rental of their grasslands the Osages, men, women and children, collect about $80 each every three months. In addition to this they have extensive oil wells. The Osages, therefore, are very fond of large families, and it is to the material interest of every Indian to have as many children as possible. In this case the new child does not represent another mouth to feed, but another source of income. The father on payday collects from the Government paymaster the money coming to his family, and this often amounts to a considerable sum. The Indian has never fully realized the value of money—it comes too easily. When he gets his funds he goes around and pays his debts, for he is always given credit by the traders, and he settles his accounts because he will shortly need credit again until payday comes around once more. With the money he has leftover he buys anything that takes his fancy, and sometimes he makes remarkable and ludicrous purchases.
An Osage who had missed payday until he had accumulated riches beyond his most avaricious dreams went to Coffeyville, in southern Kansas, one day with his pockets bulging with money. He shopped around in the stores, buying everything he fancied, until he had accumulated a larger load than his pony could carry. He was wandering along the street wondering how he would transport it to his home, when he saw a large black wagon with glass sides standing in front of a store. He looked at it wistfully for some time, examined the horses and harness, and wagged his head in an appreciative way. The undertaker, who had observed him, came out.
"How much?" asked the Indian. The undertaker, for a joke, named a price. The Indian went into his pocket, counted out the money, mounted the box of the hearse and drove away before the undertaker could remonstrate. And now Mr. Indian comes to town in style, with his squaw beside him on the seat and the inside of the hearse full of very lively pappooses, who lookout through the glass sides of their strange carriage. The hearse also does service when the Indian comes to town with a load of wheat, which looks very nice through the glass sides.
By nature the Indian is a perfect child; when he wants anything he wants it with all his heart and mind and soul, immediately. Like the child who would gladly exchange the $5 bill given him as a Christmas present for a doll or toy, the Indian will give anything he possesses for the merest bauble to which he takes a fancy. A novelty has the greatest charm, and he will pay a hundred times its value for an article new to him.
Colonel Dodge states that while he was in command of Fort Sedgwick "a Sioux Indian came in having in his possession a very fine and elaborately painted buffalo robe. Many efforts were made by the officers to purchase it; money, sugar, coffee, flour, etc., to the amount of $20 were offered and refused.
"Some time after a sergeant passed who had in his hand a paper containing two or three pounds of loaf sugar, cut into cubic blocks (cut-loaf, then new to frontier people and to Indians).
"He gave the Indian a few lumps and passed on. In a few moments the Indian came running after him, took the robe from his shoulders and offered it for the paper of sugar. The exchange being made, he sat down on the ground and deliberately ate up every lump."
"Years ago, when matches were not so universally known and used as now, a Lapwai Indian was visiting Fort Martin Scott, in Texas. One day an officer to whom he was talking took from his pocket a box of what, to the Indian, were merely little sticks, and scratching one on a stone, lit his pipe. The Indian eagerly inquired into this mystery, and looked on with astonishment while several matches were lighted for his gratification. Going to his camp near by, he soon came back, bringing half a dozen beautifully dressed wildcat skins, which he offered for the wonderful box. The exchange was accepted, and he went off greatly pleased. Some time after the Indian was found sitting by a large stone, on which he was gravely striking match after match, holding each in his fingers until forced to drop it, and then, carefully inspecting the scorched finger, as if to assure himself that it was real fire. This he continued until every match was burned."
The Indian has a keen appreciation of humor, and is like a child in his mirthfulness. No orator can see the weak points in his adversary's armor, or silence a foolish speaker, more quickly.