“The jury,” Tumm answered, “jus’ wouldn’t do it!”
“And Jimmie?”
“Jus’ fishin’.”
Poor little Jimmie Tool!
V—THE FOOL OF SKELETON TICKLE
When the wheezy little mail-boat rounded the Liar’s Tombstone—that gray, immobile head, forever dwelling upon its forgotten tragedy—she “opened” Skeleton Tickle; and this was where the fool was born, and where he lived his life, such as it was, and, in the end, gave it up in uttermost disgust. It was a wretched Newfoundland settlement of the remoter parts, isolated on a stretch of naked coast, itself lying unappreciatively snug beside sheltered water: being but a congregation of stark white cottages and turf huts, builded at haphazard, each aloof from its despairing neighbor, all sticking like lean incrustations to the bare brown hills—habitations of men, to be sure, which elsewhere had surely relieved the besetting dreariness with the grace and color of life, but in this place did not move the gray, unsmiling prospect of rock and water. The day was clammy: a thin, pervasive fog had drenched the whole world, now damp to the touch, dripping to the sight; the wind, out of temper with itself, blew cold and viciously, fretting the sea to a swishing lop, in which the harbor punts, anchored for the day’s fishing in the shallows over Lost Men grounds, were tossed and flung about in a fashion vastly nauseating to the beholder.... Poor devils of men and boys! Toil for them, dawn to dark; with every reward of labor—love and all the delights of life—changed by the unhappy lot: turned sordid, cheerless, bestial....
“Ha!” interrupted my chance acquaintance, leaning upon the rail with me. “I am ver’ good business man. Eh? You not theenk?” There was a saucy challenge in this; it left no escape by way of bored credulity; no man of proper feeling could accept the boast of this ingratiating, frowsy, yellow-eyed Syrian peddler. “Ha!” he proceeded. “You not theenk, eh? But I have tell you—I—myself! I am thee bes’ business man in Newf’un’lan’.” He threw back his head; regarded me with pride and mystery, eyes half closed. “No? Come, I tell you! I am thee mos’ bes’ business man in Newf’un’lan’. Eh? Not so? Ay, I am thee ver’ mos’ bes’ business man in all thee worl’. I—Tanous Shiva—I—I!” He struck his breast. “I have be thee man. An’ thee mos’ fool—thee mos’ beeg fool—thee mos’ fearful beeg fool in all thee worl’ leeve there. Ay, zur; he have leeve there—dead ahead—t’ Skeleton Teekle. You not theenk? Ha! I tell you—I tell you now—a mos’ won-dair-ful fun-ee t’ing. You hark? Ver’ well. Ha!” he exclaimed, clasping his hands in an ecstasy of delight. “How you will have laugh w’en I tell!” He sobered. “I am now,” he said, solemnly, “be-geen. You hark?”
I nodded.
“First,” he continued, gravely important, as one who discloses a mystery, “I am tell you thee name of thee beeg fool. James All—his name. Ol’ bach. Ver’ ol’ bach. Ver’ rich man. Ho! mos’ rich. You not theenk? Ver’ well. I am once hear tell he have seven lobster-tin full of gold. Mygod! I am mos’ put crazy. Lobster-tin—seven! An’ he have half-bushel of silver dollar. How he get it? Ver’ well. His gran’-father work ver’ hard; his father work ver’ hard; all thee gold come to this man, an’ he work ver’, ver’ hard. They work fearful—in thee gale, in thee cold; they work, work, work, for thee gold. Many, many year ago, long time past, thee gold be-geen to have save. It be-geen to have save many year afore I am born. Eh? Fun-ee t’ing! They work, work, work; but I am not work. Oh no! I am leetle baby. They save, save, save; but I am not save. Oh no! I am foolsh boy, in Damascus. Ver’ well. By-’n’-by I am thee growed man, an’ they have fill thee seven lobster-tin with thee gold. For what? Eh? I am tell you what for. Ha! I am show you I am ver’ good business man. I am thee ver’ mos’ bes’ business man in Newf’un’lan’.”