When Blair puts me Longstop without any pads,

And delivers occasional Wides,

My thumb is askew, and my bosom is blue,

And bruises be-smother my sides!

I cannot rejoice when a bail comes express

Saluting my pate with a punch;

Obesity quivers, there's wringing of withers,

But trust me to sparkle at lunch!—

I radiate freely at lunch.

The National Game is a tonic, I know,