Condemns the toast, pooh-poohs the bacon:

But when at last the boy arrives,

Not his to scan the market prices;

Though liner sinks or palace burns,

The Major lives by rule, and turns

To cricket first, and then the crisis.

Though getting grey and rather stiff,

The Major loves a long day's outing,

And gives a military sniff

When lads complain of lengthy scouting.