"Common justice and the lawful rights of Puddin'-owners."
"Silence in the Court while the Judge is eating," shouted the
Usher; and the Judge said severely:
"I really think you ought
To see I'm taking food,
So, Silence in the Court!
(I'm also taking port),
If you intrude, in manner rude,
A lesson you'll be taught."
"An' it please Your Lordship," said the Mayor, pointing to Bill, "this person is a brutal assaulter of people wearing top-hats."
"No insults," said Bill, and he gave the Mayor a slap in the face.
The Mayor went as pale as cheese, and the Usher called out: "No face-slapping while the Judge is dining!" and the Judge said, angrily:
"It's really far from nice,
As you ought to be aware,
While I am chewing a slice,
To have you slapping the Mayor.
If I have to complain of you again
I'll commit you in a trice,
You'd better take my advice;
Don't let me warn you twice."
"All very well for you to talk," said Bill, scornfully, "sittin' up there eatin' our Puddin'. I'm a respectable Puddin'-owner, an' I calls on you to hand over that Puddin' under threat of an action-at-law for wrongful imprisonment, trespass, and illegally using the same."
"Personal remarks to the Judge are not allowed," shouted the
Usher, and the Judge said solemnly:
"A Judge must be respected,
A Judge you mustn't knock,
Or else you'll be detected
And shoved into the dock.
You'll get a nasty shock
When gaolers turn the lock.
In prison cell you'll give a yell
To hear the hangman knock."