There was some delay before the proceedings began, for Bill said, "Here's me, the Crown Prosecutor, without a wig. This'll never do." Fortunately, a wig was found in the Judge's private room, and Bill put it on with great satisfaction.
"I'm afraid this is unconstitutional," said the Mayor to the
Constable.
"It is unconstitutional," said the Constable; "but it's better than getting a punch on the snout."
The Mayor turned so pale at this that the Constable had to thrust a banana into his mouth to restore his courage.
"Thank you," said the Mayor, peevishly; " but, on the whole,
I prefer to be restored with peeled bananas."
"Order in the jury box," said Bill, sharply, and the Mayor having hurriedly bolted his banana, peel and all, proceedings commenced.
"Gentlemen of the jury," said Bill, "the case before you is one aboundin' in horror and amazement. Persons of the lowest morals has disguised themselves in pot-hats in order to decoy a Puddin' of tender years from his lawful guardians. It is related in the archives of the Noble Order of Puddin'-Owners that previous to this dastardly attempt a valuable bag, the property of Sir Benjimen Brandysnap, had been stolen and the said Puddin'-owners invited to look at a present inside it. The said bag was then pulled over their heads, compellin' the Puddin'-owners aforesaid to endure agonies of partial suffocation, let alone walkin' on each others corns for several hours. Had not Sir Benjimen, the noble owner, appeared like a guardian angel and undone the bag, it is doubtful if Sir Samuel Sawnoff's corns could have stood the strain much longer, his groans bein' such as would have brought tears to the eyes of a hard-boiled egg."
"A very moving story," said the Constable, and the Mayor was so affected that the Constable had to stuff a banana into his mouth to prevent him bursting into tears.
"I now propose to call Sir Benjimen Brandysnap as first witness for the prosecution," said Bill. "Kindly step into the witness-box, Sir Benjimen, and relate the circumstances ensuin' on your bag bein' stole."
Benjimen stepped into the box and, taking a piece of paper from his egg basket, said solemnly: "I was very busy that morning, Gentlemen of the jury, owing to the activity of the vegetables, as hereunder described: