'If you're an officer of the Law,
A constant felon-catcher,
Then do not hesitate before
A common puddin'-snatcher.'
'We call on you to arrest these assaulters and batterers of people wearing top-hats,' said the puddin'-thieves;
'Our innocence let all attest,
We prove it by our hatter;
It is your duty to arrest
Not those in top-hats of the best
But those who top-hats batter.'
'It's very clear that somebody has to be arrested,' said the Mayor. 'I can't be put to the trouble of wearing my robes of office in public without somebody having to pay for it. I don't care whether you arrest the top-hat batterers, or the battered top-hatters; all I say is, do your duty, whatever happens—
'So somebody, no matter who,
You must arrest or rue it;
As I'm the Mayor of Tooraloo,
And you've the painful job to do,
I call on you to do it.'
'Very well,' said the Constable, peevishly, 'as I've got to take all the responsibility, I'll settle the matter by arresting the Puddin'. As far as I can see, he's the ringleader in this disturbance.'
'You're a carrot-nosed poltroon,' said the Puddin' loudly. 'As for the Mayor, he's a sausage-shaped porous plaster,' and he gave him a sharp pinch in the leg.
'What a ferocious Puddin',' said the Mayor, turning as pale as a turnip. 'Officer, do your duty and arrest this dangerous felon before he perpetrates further sacrilegious acts.'