'That Puddin', sir, an' me have sailed the seas,
Known tropic suns, and braved the Arctic breeze,
We've heard on Popocatepetl's peak
The savage Tom-Tom sharpenin' of his beak,
We've served the dreadful Jim-Jam up on toast,
When shipwrecked off the Coromandel coast,
And when we heard the frightful Bim-Bam rave,
Have plunged beneath the Salonican wave.
We've delved for Bulbuls' eggs on coral strands,
And chased the Pompeydon in distant lands.
That Puddin', sir, and me, has, back to back,
Withstood the fearful Rumty Tums' attack,
And swum the Indian Ocean for our lives,
Pursued by Oysters, armed with oyster knives.
Let me but say, e'er these adventures cloy,
I've knowed that Puddin' since he were a boy.'
'All lies,' sang out the Puddin', looking over the rim of his basin. 'For well you know that you and old Bill Barnacle collared me off Curry and Rice after rolling him off the iceberg.'
'Albert, Albert,' said Bill, sternly. 'Where's your manners: interruptin' Sir Samuel in that rude way, and him a-performin' like an actor for your deliverance!'
'How much longer do you expect me to stay up here, bein' guzzled by these legal land-crabs?' demanded the Puddin'.
'You shall stay there, Albert, till the case is well and truly tried by these here noble Peers of the Realm assembled,' said Bill, impressively.
'Too much style about you,' said the Puddin', rudely, and he threw the Judge's glass of port into Bill's face, remarking: 'Take that, for being a pumpkin-headed old shellback.'
There was a great uproar over this very illegal act. The Judge was enraged at losing his port, and the Mayor was filled with horror because Bill wiped his face on the mayoral hat. Sam had to feign amazement at being called a liar, and the puddin'-thieves kept shouting: 'Time, time; we can't stand here all day.'
In desperation, Bill bawled at the top of his voice: 'I call on Detective Bluegum to restore order in the Court.'