“No,” said the colonel. “When I didn’t come round that night she sent her father after me, and we were married two months later. She and the five kids are up at the house now. Pass the tobacco, please.”
A Narrow Escape
A meek-looking man, with one eye and a timid, shuffling gait, entered a Houston saloon while no one was in except the bartender, and said:
“Excuse me, sir, but would you permit me to step behind the bar for just a moment? You can keep your eye on me. There is something there I wanted to look at.”
The bartender was not busy, and humored him through curiosity.
The meek-looking man stepped around and toward the shelf back of the bar.
“Would you kindly remove that wine bottle and those glasses for a moment?”
The bartender did so, and disclosed a little plowed streak on the shelf and a small hole bored for quite a distance into the wall.
“Thanks, that’s all,” said the meek man, as he went around to the front again.
He leaned thoughtfully on the bar and said: “I shot that hole in there just nine years ago. I came in feeling pretty thirsty and had no money. The bartender refused me a drink and I commenced firing. That ball went through his ear and five bottles of champagne before it stopped. I then yelled quite loudly, and two men broke their arms trying to get out the door, and the bartender trembled so when he mixed a drink for me you would have thought he was putting up a milk shake for a girl who wanted to catch a street car.”