“You say the walls are bulging out?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that makes more room everywhere. You just raise all your tenants’ rent on account of the extra space.”
“Young man, you’re a genius. I’ll put rents up twenty percent tomorrow.”
And one more capitalist was saved.
Coming to Him
The man who keeps up with the latest scientific discoveries is abroad in the land. He knows all about bacilli, microbes, and all the various newly found foes to mankind. He reads the papers and heeds all the warnings that lead to longevity and safety to mind and limb. He stopped a friend on Main Street yesterday who was hurrying to the post-office and said excitedly:
“Wait a minute, Brown. Do you ever bite your finger nails?”
“I think so—no, I don’t know; excuse me, please, I’ve got to catch that car.”
“Hold on, man; great goodness alive, you don’t know what danger you are in. If a sharp particle of the nail gets into your lungs, inflammation is bound to set in, and finally laceration, consumption, hemorrhage, fits, coma, tuberculosis, and death. Think of it! And by the way, a new bacillus has been found in water in which roses have been left standing that is very fatal. I want to warn you. Do you know that—”