“Hold on. Colonel,” said the judge. “You just drink that mint julep right now. You needn’t go any further with your story.”
Hungry Henry’s Ruse
Hungry Henry: Madam, I am state agent for a new roller-action, unbreakable, double-elastic suspender. Can I show you some?
Mrs. Lonestreet: No, there ain’t no man on the place.
Hungry Henry: Well, then, I am also handling something unique in the way of a silvermounted, morocco leather, dog collar, with name engraved free of charge. Perhaps—
Mrs. Lonestreet: ’Tain’t no use. I ain’t got a dog.
Hungry Henry: Hat’s what I wanted to know. Now fix me de best supper you’se kin, and do it quick or it won’t be healthy fur you. See?
A Proof of Love
“If you love me as I love you”—
(Ah, sweet those words to lover’s ear,
’Twas Lois spake, in accents true,
So loving, tender, kind and dear.)
“If you love me as I love you”—
(Ah, heaven and earth were wrapped in bliss,
The wild rose listened, dissolved in dew;
The very zephyrs sought her kiss.)