A couple of years afterward old Jacob went into the office of his private secretary.
“The Amalgamated Missionary Society solicits a contribution of $30,000 toward the conversion of the Koreans,” said the secretary.
“Pass ’em up,” said Jacob.
“The University of Plumville writes that its yearly endowment fund of $50,000 that you bestowed upon it is past due.”
“Tell ’em it’s been cut out.”
“The Scientific Society of Clam Cove, Long Island, asks for $10,000 to buy alcohol to preserve specimens.”
“Waste basket.”
“The Society for Providing Healthful Recreation for Working Girls wants $20,000 from you to lay out a golf course.”
“Tell ’em to see an undertaker.”
“Cut ’em all out,” went on Jacob. “I’ve quit being a good thing. I need every dollar I can scrape or save. I want you to write to the directors of every company that I’m interested in and recommend a 10 per cent. cut in salaries. And say—I noticed half a cake of soap lying in a corner of the hall as I came in. I want you to speak to the scrubwoman about waste. I’ve got no money to throw away. And say—we’ve got vinegar pretty well in hand, haven’t we?’