Whirligigs

by O. Henry


Contents

[CHAPTER I THE WORLD AND THE DOOR]
[CHAPTER II THE THEORY AND THE HOUND]
[CHAPTER III THE HYPOTHESES OF FAILURE]
[CHAPTER IV CALLOWAY’S CODE]
[CHAPTER V A MATTER OF MEAN ELEVATION]
[CHAPTER VI “GIRL”]
[CHAPTER VII SOCIOLOGY IN SERGE AND STRAW]
[CHAPTER VIII THE RANSOM OF RED CHIEF]
[CHAPTER IX THE MARRY MONTH OF MAY]
[CHAPTER X A TECHNICAL ERROR]
[CHAPTER XI SUITE HOMES AND THEIR ROMANCE]
[CHAPTER XII THE WHIRLIGIG OF LIFE]
[CHAPTER XIII A SACRIFICE HIT]
[CHAPTER XIV THE ROADS WE TAKE]
[CHAPTER XV A BLACKJACK BARGAINER]
[CHAPTER XVI THE SONG AND THE SERGEANT]
[CHAPTER XVII ONE DOLLAR’S WORTH]
[CHAPTER XVIII A NEWSPAPER STORY]
[CHAPTER XIX TOMMY’S BURGLAR]
[CHAPTER XX A CHAPARRAL CHRISTMAS GIFT]
[CHAPTER XXI A LITTLE LOCAL COLOUR]
[CHAPTER XXII GEORGIA’S RULING]
[CHAPTER XXIII BLIND MAN’S HOLIDAY]
[CHAPTER XXIV MADAME BO-PEEP, OF THE RANCHES]

I
THE WORLD AND THE DOOR

A favourite dodge to get your story read by the public is to assert that it is true, and then add that Truth is stranger than Fiction. I do not know if the yarn I am anxious for you to read is true; but the Spanish purser of the fruit steamer El Carrero swore to me by the shrine of Santa Guadalupe that he had the facts from the U. S. vice-consul at La Paz—a person who could not possibly have been cognizant of half of them.

As for the adage quoted above, I take pleasure in puncturing it by affirming that I read in a purely fictional story the other day the line: “‘Be it so,’ said the policeman.” Nothing so strange has yet cropped out in Truth.

When H. Ferguson Hedges, millionaire promoter, investor and man-about-New-York, turned his thoughts upon matters convivial, and word of it went “down the line,” bouncers took a precautionary turn at the Indian clubs, waiters put ironstone china on his favourite tables, cab drivers crowded close to the curbstone in front of all-night cafés, and careful cashiers in his regular haunts charged up a few bottles to his account by way of preface and introduction.

As a money power a one-millionaire is of small account in a city where the man who cuts your slice of beef behind the free-lunch counter rides to work in his own automobile. But Hedges spent his money as lavishly, loudly and showily as though he were only a clerk squandering a week’s wages. And, after all, the bartender takes no interest in your reserve fund. He would rather look you up on his cash register than in Bradstreet.