A branded lot, all knaves and parasites.

And he says that you philosophers always have your minds set upon banquets; and that you think it constantly necessary to ask for something to eat or to devour some Cynic food. For there is no need for our picking our phrases. And all this is plain from what Alexis relates in his book which is entitled Linus: and in that he supposes Hercules to have been educated by Linus, and to have been ordered by him to select any one out of a number of books that were at hand to read. And he having taken a cookery-book in his hand, retained it with great eagerness. And Linus then speaks to him in the following terms—

Lin.Come here, and take whatever book you please,
And read it carefully, when you have scann'd
The titles, and the subject well consider'd.
There's Orpheus here, and Hesiod, and plays,
Chœrilus, Homer, Epicharmus too,
All sorts of works. For thus your choice will show me
Your nature, and your favourite pursuit.
Her.I will take this.
Lin.First show me what it is.
Her.A cookery book, as says the title-page.
[[264]]Lin.You're a philosopher, that's very plain,
Who passing over all these useful books,
Choose out the art of Simus.
Her.Who is Simus?
Lin.A very clever man; now he has turn'd
To tragic studies; and of all the actors
Is the most skilful cook, as those who eat
His dishes do declare. And of all cooks
By far the cleverest actor.
Her.He's a man
Of noble appetite; say what you wish;
For be of this assured, that I am hungry.

58. When Magnus had run through these quotations, Cynulcus, looking at the philosophers who were present, said—

Have you seen the Thasian brine,[264:1] and heard how he does bark?
How speedily the fellow did revenge himself, and thoroughly;
It does not seem a case of one blind speaking to a deaf man:

as Cratinus says, in his Archilochi. For he, forgetting before what a tribunal he was making an exhibition of his fine iambics, read his colabri with his natural greediness, and at the same time with his usual elegance of expression, and

Melodies out of time, and tuneless cymbals:

and after all this fine ignorant stupidity, he goes round to people's houses, seeking out where any handsome banquet is prepared, carrying his conduct to a length even beyond the Athenian Chærephon, of whom Alexis says in his Fugitive—

That Chærephon has always got some trick,
And now he's looking for some feast to share
Where he himself will not be call'd upon
For any contribution. For wheresoever
A pot, such as is let to cooks, does stand,
Thither he goeth at the earliest dawn;
And if he sees one come to hire it
For any feast, he asks the cook the name
Of him who gives the feast, and then as soon
As the door opens, in he walks the first.

But this man has no hesitation, like the excellent Magnus, even to make excursions quite beyond the boundaries for the sake of his stomach, as Alexis said in his Men who Died together—