HARDCASTLE. Zounds! he’ll drive me distracted, if I contain myself any longer. Mr. Marlow—Sir; I have submitted to your insolence for more than four hours, and I see no likelihood of its coming to an end. I’m now resolved to be master here, sir; and I desire that you and your drunken pack may leave my house directly.
MARLOW. Leave your house!——Sure you jest, my good friend! What? when I’m doing what I can to please you.
HARDCASTLE. I tell you, sir, you don’t please me; so I desire you’ll leave my house.
MARLOW. Sure you cannot be serious? At this time o’ night, and such a night? You only mean to banter me.
HARDCASTLE. I tell you, sir, I’m serious! and now that my passions are roused, I say this house is mine, sir; this house is mine, and I command you to leave it directly.
MARLOW. Ha! ha! ha! A puddle in a storm. I shan’t stir a step, I assure you. (In a serious tone.) This your house, fellow! It’s my house. This is my house. Mine, while I choose to stay. What right have you to bid me leave this house, sir? I never met with such impudence, curse me; never in my whole life before.
HARDCASTLE. Nor I, confound me if ever I did. To come to my house, to call for what he likes, to turn me out of my own chair, to insult the family, to order his servants to get drunk, and then to tell me, “This house is mine, sir.” By all that’s impudent, it makes me laugh. Ha! ha! ha! Pray, sir (bantering), as you take the house, what think you of taking the rest of the furniture? There’s a pair of silver candlesticks, and there’s a fire-screen, and here’s a pair of brazen-nosed bellows; perhaps you may take a fancy to them?
MARLOW. Bring me your bill, sir; bring me your bill, and let’s make no more words about it.
HARDCASTLE. There are a set of prints, too. What think you of the Rake’s Progress, for your own apartment?
MARLOW. Bring me your bill, I say; and I’ll leave you and your infernal house directly.