[10] Colman.
[11] From a letter of the Duke of Cumberland.
RETALIATION
Of old, when Scarròn[12] his companions invited,
Each guest brought his dish, and the feast was united;
If our landlord supplies us with beef, and with fish,
Let each guest bring himself—and he brings the best dish;
Our Dean[13] shall be venison, just fresh from the plains;
Our Burke[14] shall be tongue, with a garnish of brains;
Our Will[15] shall be wild-fowl, of excellent flavour;
And Dick[16] with his pepper shall heighten their savour;
Our Cumberland’s[17] sweet-bread its place shall obtain;
And Douglas[18] is pudding, substantial and plain;
Our Garrick’s[19] a salad, for in him we see
Oil, vinegar, sugar, and saltness agree;
To make out the dinner, full certain I am
That Ridge[20] is anchovy, and Reynolds[21] is lamb;
That Hickey’s[22] a capon, and, by the same rule,
Magnanimous Goldsmith a gooseberry fool.
At a dinner so various, at such a repast,
Who’d not be a glutton, and stick to the last?
Here, waiter, more wine, let me sit while I’m able,
Till all my companions sink under the table;
Then, with chaos and blunders encircling my head,
Let me ponder, and tell what I think of the dead.
Here lies the good Dean, re-united to earth,
Who mix’d reason with pleasure, and wisdom with mirth;
If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt—
At least, in six weeks I could not find them out;
Yet some have declar’d, and it can’t be denied them,
That sly-boots was cursedly cunning to hide them.
Here lies our good Edmund, whose genius was such,
We scarcely can praise it, or blame it too much;
Who, born for the universe, narrow’d his mind,
And to party gave up what was meant for mankind.
Though fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat
To persuade Tommy Townshend[23] to lend him a vote;
Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining,
And thought of convincing, while they thought of dining:
Though equal to all things, for all things unfit:
Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit;
For a patriot too cool; for a drudge disobedient;
And too fond of the right, to pursue the expedient.
In short, ’twas his fate, unemploy’d, or in place, sir,
To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor.