The definition of “Household” in the Standard Dictionary is as follows: “A number of persons living under the same roof.”
If cats are people, then the cat in question is a person and a member of the household, and for failing to maintain her and provide her with the comfort and attention to which she has been used, the eldest son loses his inheritance. Having demonstrated that the question “Are Cats People?” is anything but a trivial one, I now propose a court of inquiry, to settle once for all and forever, the social status of felis domesticus.
And I propose for the office of judge of that court—myself!
In seconding the proposal and appointing myself judge of the court, I have been careful to follow political precedent by taking no account whatever of any qualifications I may or may not have for the office.
For witnesses, I summon (from wherever they may be) two great shades, to wit: King Solomon, the wisest man of his day, and Noah Webster, the wordiest.
And I say to Mr. Webster, “Mr. Webster, what are the common terms used to designate a domestic feline whose Christian name chances to be unknown to the speaker?” and Mr. Webster answers without a moment’s hesitation:
“Cat, puss, pussy and pussy-cat.”
“And what is the grammatical definition of the above terms?”
“They are called nouns.”